Cognitive Distortions Part 2

Loving Lifelong Learning • October 11, 2022

Cognitive Distortions Part 2

As we uncover the broad yet tedious topic of cognitive distortions…the driving question remains…How do we change…really change….? In order to do so for lasting impact, we need to identify our decisions and thought processes and work from there…As we do so, we will be more inclined to intentionally take notice of ourselves and then find truth in situations around us…There is great benefit to change and growth throughout life as we navigate situations.


Yes, these topics are much easier to read and talk about than to live out in the daily…but when we begin to accept the challenge of change…the outcomes we experience will begin to lead to lasting adjustments and benefits for the GOOD!


So…here we go…we are going to tackle the next few elements of cognitive distortions…


Polarized thinking, or the concept of all or nothing thinking, happens when we prioritize and get stuck into very EXTREME positive or negative possibilities. This quickly leads down the path of overly high expectations, and perfectionism reigns supreme…or seeing everything through a negative lens. We want to try and balance positive striving for healthy growth along with the concept of failing successfully and continuing on the path with positivity. In the realm of polarized thinking, a mindset of either good/bad perhaps success/failure exists. This mentality quickly leads into an emotional tsunami of EVERY TIME THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS and THINGS ARE NEVER GOOD or RIGHT. So…while we would like to think we are all balanced and able to stay even…these thought processes can catch us off guard and be a huge struggle.


Filtering is the next portion to unfold. Simply put, filtering is focusing solely on the negative struggles surrounding a situation and ignoring the positivity which exists. In the classroom, filtering may look like an educator acknowledging only the failures of a student and looks over all of the positive learning momentum occurring. Someone struggling with an addictive behavior may prioritize how “good” the action feels while overlooking the negative impact of health, social, emotional, and relationship issues.


Overgeneralization is an overarching view of life and living within the realm of ALWAYS and NEVER. This could look like being overlooked for a job, not being invited to interview and then one deducing they will not ever be gainfully employed. This can be extreme and version which cycles throughout every aspect of life for someone.


The final point we will look at for this section is Labeling. This is an extension of the aforementioned with even more extreme. One actually attaches a label to self or someone else. In this example, someone failing to complete a task deduces themself to being a complete LOSER or if someone else fails to complete a task one may label them as LAZY. This mislabeling goes from “something is wrong” directly to “I am” or “they are” “WRONG”.


Let’s look at the St. Louis Cardinals in the recent WILD CARD series…Yes, we were there, cheering, hoping, energizing…In case you are unaware of this series…The Cardinals made it to the post-season!! Woohoo! However, when they were there, oh no things did not go so well and the end result is, the STL Cardinals are no longer in the post season. And while the World Series will go on, it will not be an active part of the Cardinals future.


To say the Cardinals NEVER do well…is polarization.

To filter through the negative lens may be a response like they ARE AWFUL hitters!

To overgeneralize in regard to the recent ending of the STL Cardinal postseason may look like someone believing, “THEY NEVER WIN when I am there. I should NEVER go to a game again!”

To globally label the STL Cardinals as LAZY or LOSERS would not be accurate at all. 


While it was a quiet walk to the car after game 2 in the Wild Card series for the STL Cardinals 2022 end of the season…


There were some amazing take aways lingering…


The end of an era, a BEAUTIFL era! Seeing Pujols and Molina wrap up their Hall of Fame careers. All of the milestones they have completed, along with the accomplishments of Wainwright this year, WOW!


The weather for both games. Could NOT have been better times to be at the ballpark! 


The family and fan camaraderie. Excitement…a long winning history…the BIRDS on the Bat! 


Enjoying baseball in the USA…the land of the free and home of the brave.


BUSCH stadium…as in STL…it is usually a better day when you are at Busch!




Processing through life

Feels like navigating strife


Filter through to find the joy

Focus on good and employ


Refrain from jumping into negativity

Keep on questing toward positivity


Catastrophe and calm reason

May not merge in each season


Push through and say you will

Even on standby find a calm still


Yes maybe you shoulda or coulda

But let go of the revolving woulda


Grit and persevere

Mindfully drop fear


When hope is distant without a WIN

Gear up to find the next path to begin 


Press through 

You CAN do!



© 2022 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D 

  Alongside her husband B


By Loving Lifelong Learning June 16, 2025
While some are already reveling in the respite of a summer break, very shortly, summer will truly be upon us and in full swing. Before we get all the immersed into summer adventures…I am compelled to reflect upon a “springing into summer” adventure we enjoyed in the MOUNTAINs! Earlier in spring, Brian and I were scheduled to be in Boulder, Colorado…Both of us had an array of items to complete while there and as we worked on our professional lives much of the time, we did take moments to experience the glorious beauty of the surrounding mountains. We participated in one of our favorite activities which is receiving FRESH AIR THERAPY! So, for personal development as we endeavored several “trails” and sought to thrive, we found ourselves at times acclimating well with measured breaths and strong endurance. There were other instances when the altitude seemed to be getting the best of us, and we were feeling so incredibly “old” and “out of shape” …YIKES! This up and down pattern served us up a few life reminders… GRIT matters. KEEP putting one foot in front of the other even when you cannot see the outcome or where the path is leading now. The WORK and exercises we do as a part of our life habits continues to be meaningful. It offered stamina on each trail we attempted and conquered. In LIFE , we oftentimes feel we are not “there” but when we persevere on, we are indeed headed forward. Keep GOING! The VIEW at every stage had more to explore than we could have imagined. There were twists, turns, times to sidestep, and valued seconds of stopping to enjoy and breathe it all in. Along with this came the inevitably unexpected, another hill to climb with more rock paths to maneuver through, and then we would turn another corner and keep going on and up toward the destination. From the Flat Iron paths to the trails through the red rocks. For the Royal Arch victory and the Mount Sanitas Trail after a steep Mapleton Avenue walk…we were stretched, found peace, wished for better core support, (smile), yet discovered more than we could take in while finding fulfillment and purpose in the complex yet simple journey. Similarly, situations around us might not be clear or understandable in life, but these mountainous experiences reminded us we must keep doing our trek. Today…we are where we are. How we have done life up to this point counts and carries lessons we may or may not be aware of. However, we must effort to remain present in each moment. So…what changes will you be willing to adjust for your life? What are you doing well? How can or will you choose to navigate each “trail” “hill” “trek” or “hike” of life and to do it well? Much to ponder… Perhaps you’ve been thrust into mountains of emotions to traverse, hills of pain to climb, or rocky relationships to navigate. Maybe the economy, your job situation or the health of yourself or loved ones feels tumultuous. Possibly you have endured a betrayal and rejection of those counted as friends…life happens doesn’t it? Moments of emotion will surface…Are you equipped to move through the climb? Gear up! May we find and embrace a sense of satisfaction despite the pain and do so with sprinkles of happiness. With courage, confidence and perseverance, we can lean in and stay healthy on this journey we call LIFE! Whatever path you choose Allow it to ignite and infuse Walk on with peace Find sweet release Success in the climb Viewing the sublime Keep calm and stay assured Even when the path is blurred Love without hurry Embrace no scurry Refrain from the fitful When seeking restful Always a season for each Soon again a time of reach For now, bask in tranquility With joy in your fresh ability To be strong Move along As you desire to retain And want to maintain Allow space for the unexpected Believing you are still protected Life mountains might indeed look to be in the way May we navigate well and on our BEST path stay  This we CAN do As life we go thru! © 2025 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D Alongside her hiking partner B
By Loving Lifelong Learning May 30, 2025
We often hear phrases such as things are not always as they appear, or just wait, be patient, the truth will come out, and maybe even…trust the PROCESS…trust THE process…TRUST the process…Hmmmmmm much easier stated than lived out. So seemingly unpredictable. And then let’s consider the WEATHER. At times we are hard pressed to find a consistent pattern…Some winter days feel like spring, spring days like summer and so on…Spring is typically the time for planting and new growth…and while we long for spring and refreshment we end up hearing tornado sirens and high winds blowing and then…trees are cracked, branches and leaves are strewn, some buildings and even precious homes damaged. And then again…we are called to remember….things are just not always as they appear or how we wish they would appear. Recently, I found another 4 leaf clover. Those who know me well understand this propensity has been lifelong. Ever since I can remember, I would be drawn to a clover patch and many times there would be a 4 leaf clover, just waiting to be picked…People often say, “FAITH HOPE LOVE & LUCK when they think of a 4 leaf clover. While there are various stances on 4 leaf clovers, how common or not, why they exist, the frequency for which one might find one…the fact is, I’ve been prone to discover them throughout the years. So…while I’m not sure why, it is a fact and my tendency is to find 4 leaf clovers. Loaded with fun, great conversation, a dedication to the one I’m speaking to or out with when the discovery is made, these clovers have brought many smiles, energizing surprises, good thoughts and sparked numerous interactions and conversations through the years. Regarding the 3rd one of this season, and there have been several since then, it was sweet, tiny, fully 4 leaves, yet shriveled very quickly. Along with this find, came the life reminder that so many things, situations, happenings in life can be temporary and are at times real but truly not as they appear. If one looked at the little clover just 30 minutes after the find, it did not look the same. And…especially this time I should have snapped the photo immediately! There have been several since, another tattered one, an uneven one, a speckled one, even a butterfly shaped 4 leaf clover and one found on a particularly tough evening. This reminder of things not always being what they appear has been so timely. The path feels long and at moments impossible right? A nudge to recall might need to be reframed and turned into a pull back or a redirect. Assessing a situation from a different view and choosing to refrain from getting stuck on what “should be” and letting what is unfold…might be the best path choice. Growing on from there may include a challenge but oftentimes this is needful to do. And to do so while simultaneously strengthening our emotional stamina can be powerful. At times I believe we are inclined to long for “linear” and for everything to be set directly into place and stay on track with a specific frame we hold onto as hope. When we realize our journeys become shaped and better informed by our sadnesses and celebrations as well as our surprises and the mundane, we are better equipped to learn and lead by example and share forward helping our world to become better and stronger, one heart at a time. And whether it feels comfortable or not, and regardless of how linear the process may seem as we are trudging through, we simply cannot see what is not there. As we soar through spring, rites of passages via graduations or milestone events which inevitably occur, let us enjoy each moment for what it is, embrace life with goodness and grace and remember, just because something looks one way now, it can and will most likely change. Are you willing to rearrange? Grow? Settle in? Reach for different? Regrouping and resetting may be on deck so let us lean forward accepting FAITH HOPE LOVE along with a sprinkle of LUCK or CHANCE…and make all our spaces better with our time, treasure, heart soul and being! Things are not always as they appear Diligently try not to live within fear Will you choose grace And gently embrace? Faith to fill Hope to still Love to lead your circumstance Embracing good luck and chance Allow a spontaneous surprise To enlighten your mind’s eyes Engage with your all Pursuing the life call To be and show What you know Each and every day In so many a way The path might be long But keep moving along When put to the test Live to impart your best And remember…in all you do You can and will get through! © 2025 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D Alongside her husband B
By Loving Lifelong Learning July 16, 2024
CHRISTMAS in JULY?!?! What? Recently, after being at the STL Soccer game and watching the effort by our CITY team, Brian and I were headed home and listening to the KMOX broadcast of the Cardinal game. We barely made it in the house to turn on the TV and watch the Cardinals WIN! It was their second VICTORY of the DAY! At some point during the 9th inning while we were doing this, I noticed a phrase at the bottom of our screen…It read, “ CHRISTMAS in JULY”! Immediately…this phrase jettisons me back to yesteryear; watching the Venture, K-Mart and Famous-Barr (your Christmas ANGEL store…!) ads as child. It never felt all the way right when the sales would begin describing Christmas and Winter Holidays when we were anticipating fireworks displays, heading to the pool, playing kickball in the yard, and collecting fireflies. Ahhhhhh CHRISTMAS in JULY! To me, these words, CHRISTMAS in JULY, stir up music in my heart, mind and soul. While we do not feel ready for the Holiday Season to embark on us at this very minute, Brian and I LOVE the thought of CELEBRATION, FAMILY, FUN, & LOVE! Do you? What brings music to your ears? How does your heart experience an extra surge of happy beats? Is it a beautiful display of fireworks like many have taken in lately? Is it the laughter of children in the neighborhood playing? Perhaps it is an array of special people in your life or maybe even some important memories of days gone by. Throughout July, maybe we take some time to reflect on what has been and what is yet to come by the time we will be making it through another calendar year. Has any event or happening resonated deeply with you? Among our summer favorites, we have integrated some small house and yard projects, sought to carve new paths within our daily work, intentionally focused upon being “there” for some, and have centered in on embracing the unpredicted events and opportunities we have been offered. So, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, as you head to local sporting events, enjoy a favorite cool summer treat with those you love or simply enjoy the longer daylight hours of summer with taking just one more walk through the neighborhood, try to find moments to savor and embrace all of the beautiful; past, present and yet to come. Do you find yourself already anticipating another holiday to come? Try not to resist or overlook the potential adventures awaiting in the here and nearly NOW! And, just sayin’…the ULTIMATE Christmas in July for US this year? Well, it is fast approaching as we anticipate the arrival of some of our dear extended family dropping in for a visit very soon…the elements of surprise and joy and new memories to make loom sure. To us, this is simply the BEST & that’s a WINNER! Through the years Amidst life’s fears Whether it is in December or July Or any other month, time flies by From then & onto now A heart surge & WOW Perspective matters Amidst life shatters Whoever you are with & whatever you do Delight in each & every moment…be TRUE Memories & photos galore Of those we so much adore At the Grand Hotel Our hearts did swell From Ted Drewes to CITY & Cardinal Nation Our people are with us in fresh anticipation For the unexpected to be yet lead the way As newfound memories are formed today Stirring arrays of enlightened emotion Amidst loved ones and the commotion Seek for reasons to celebrate Letting JOY & PEACE infiltrate Always find memories of days gone away By looking ahead to walk into another day More than research or reflection Relationships deserve protection As with a sundae topped with whipped cream & a cherry Lean into and embrace every moment and do not tarry Cherish the treasures of life and good all year long Clean out spiff up and with possibility move along With agility finding our best attitude Coloring every bit of life in gratitude Lean into the BEAUTY-FULL Embrace the WONDER-FULL As always we invite you to the party of reminiscing, celebrating or sharing…your thoughts are welcome…so join the conversation. © 2024 Kathleen Bauer, Ed D Alongside her husband B 
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