Loving Lifelong Learning

Mountains

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 18:53:35 GMT

While some are already reveling in the respite of a summer break, very shortly, summer will truly be upon us and in full swing. Before we get all the immersed into summer adventures…I am compelled to reflect upon a “springing into summer” adventure we enjoyed in the MOUNTAINs!

Earlier in spring, Brian and I were scheduled to be in Boulder, Colorado…Both of us had an array of items to complete while there and as we worked on our professional lives much of the time, we did take moments to experience the glorious beauty of the surrounding mountains. We participated in one of our favorite activities which is receiving FRESH AIR THERAPY!

So, for personal development as we endeavored several “trails” and sought to thrive, we found ourselves at times acclimating well with measured breaths and strong endurance. There were other instances when the altitude seemed to be getting the best of us, and we were feeling so incredibly “old” and “out of shape” …YIKES! This up and down pattern served us up a few life reminders…

GRIT matters.

KEEP putting one foot in front of the other even when you cannot see the outcome or where the path is leading now.

The WORK and exercises we do as a part of our life habits continues to be meaningful. It offered stamina on each trail we attempted and conquered.

In LIFE , we oftentimes feel we are not “there” but when we persevere on, we are indeed headed forward. Keep GOING!

The VIEW at every stage had more to explore than we could have imagined. There were twists, turns, times to sidestep, and valued seconds of stopping to enjoy and breathe it all in. Along with this came the inevitably unexpected, another hill to climb with more rock paths to maneuver through, and then we would turn another corner and keep going on and up toward the destination.

From the Flat Iron paths to the trails through the red rocks. For the Royal Arch victory and the Mount Sanitas Trail after a steep Mapleton Avenue walk…we were stretched, found peace, wished for better core support, (smile), yet discovered more than we could take in while finding fulfillment and purpose in the complex yet simple journey.

Similarly, situations around us might not be clear or understandable in life, but these mountainous experiences reminded us we must keep doing our trek. Today…we are where we are. How we have done life up to this point counts and carries lessons we may or may not be aware of. However, we must effort to remain present in each moment.

So…what changes will you be willing to adjust for your life? What are you doing well? How can or will you choose to navigate each “trail” “hill” “trek” or “hike” of life and to do it well?

Much to ponder…

Perhaps you’ve been thrust into mountains of emotions to traverse, hills of pain to climb, or

rocky relationships to navigate. Maybe the economy, your job situation or the health of

yourself or loved ones feels tumultuous. Possibly you have endured a betrayal and rejection of

those counted as friends…life happens doesn’t it?

Moments of emotion will surface…Are you equipped to move through the climb? Gear up!

May we find and embrace a sense of satisfaction despite the pain and do so with sprinkles of happiness. With courage, confidence and perseverance, we can lean in and stay healthy on this journey we call LIFE!

Whatever path you choose

Allow it to ignite and infuse

Walk on with peace

Find sweet release

Success in the climb

Viewing the sublime

Keep calm and stay assured

Even when the path is blurred

Love without hurry

Embrace no scurry

Refrain from the fitful

When seeking restful

Always a season for each

Soon again a time of reach

For now, bask in tranquility

With joy in your fresh ability

To be strong

Move along

As you desire to retain

And want to maintain

Allow space for the unexpected

Believing you are still protected

Life mountains might indeed look to be in the way

May we navigate well and on our BEST path stay

This we CAN do

As life we go thru!

Alongside her hiking partner B

Not Always As They Appear

Fri, 30 May 2025 14:26:38 GMT

We often hear phrases such as things are not always as they appear, or just wait, be patient, the truth will come out, and maybe even…trust the PROCESS…trust THE process…TRUST the process…Hmmmmmm much easier stated than lived out. So seemingly unpredictable. And then let’s consider the WEATHER. At times we are hard pressed to find a consistent pattern…Some winter days feel like spring, spring days like summer and so on…Spring is typically the time for planting and new growth…and while we long for spring and refreshment we end up hearing tornado sirens and high winds blowing and then…trees are cracked, branches and leaves are strewn, some buildings and even precious homes damaged. And then again…we are called to remember….things are just not always as they appear or how we wish they would appear.

Recently, I found another 4 leaf clover. Those who know me well understand this propensity has been lifelong. Ever since I can remember, I would be drawn to a clover patch and many times there would be a 4 leaf clover, just waiting to be picked…People often say, “FAITH HOPE LOVE & LUCK when they think of a 4 leaf clover.

While there are various stances on 4 leaf clovers, how common or not, why they exist, the frequency for which one might find one…the fact is, I’ve been prone to discover them throughout the years.

So…while I’m not sure why, it is a fact and my tendency is to find 4 leaf clovers. Loaded with fun, great conversation, a dedication to the one I’m speaking to or out with when the discovery is made, these clovers have brought many smiles, energizing surprises, good thoughts and sparked numerous interactions and conversations through the years.

Regarding the 3rd one of this season, and there have been several since then, it was sweet, tiny, fully 4 leaves, yet shriveled very quickly. Along with this find, came the life reminder that so many things, situations, happenings in life can be temporary and are at times real but truly not as they appear. If one looked at the little clover just 30 minutes after the find, it did not look the same. And…especially this time I should have snapped the photo immediately! There have been several since, another tattered one, an uneven one, a speckled one, even a butterfly shaped 4 leaf clover and one found on a particularly tough evening.

This reminder of things not always being what they appear has been so timely. The path feels long and at moments impossible right? A nudge to recall might need to be reframed and turned into a pull back or a redirect. Assessing a situation from a different view and choosing to refrain from getting stuck on what “should be” and letting what is unfold…might be the best path choice. Growing on from there may include a challenge but oftentimes this is needful to do. And to do so while simultaneously strengthening our emotional stamina can be powerful. At times I believe we are inclined to long for “linear” and for everything to be set directly into place and stay on track with a specific frame we hold onto as hope. When we realize our journeys become shaped and better informed by our sadnesses and celebrations as well as our surprises and the mundane, we are better equipped to learn and lead by example and share forward helping our world to become better and stronger, one heart at a time. And whether it feels comfortable or not, and regardless of how linear the process may seem as we are trudging through, we simply cannot see what is not there.

As we soar through spring, rites of passages via graduations or milestone events which inevitably occur, let us enjoy each moment for what it is, embrace life with goodness and grace and remember, just because something looks one way now, it can and will most likely change. Are you willing to rearrange? Grow? Settle in? Reach for different? Regrouping and resetting may be on deck so let us lean forward accepting FAITH HOPE LOVE along with a sprinkle of LUCK or CHANCE…and make all our spaces better with our time, treasure, heart soul and being!

Things are not always as they appear

Diligently try not to live within fear

Will you choose grace

And gently embrace?

Faith to fill

Hope to still

Love to lead your circumstance

Embracing good luck and chance

Allow a spontaneous surprise

To enlighten your mind’s eyes

Engage with your all

Pursuing the life call

To be and show

What you know

Each and every day

In so many a way

The path might be long

But keep moving along

When put to the test

Live to impart your best

And remember…in all you do

You can and will get through!

Alongside her husband B

CHRISTMAS in JULY

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 19:17:48 GMT

CHRISTMAS in JULY?!?! What? Recently, after being at the STL Soccer game and watching the effort by our CITY team, Brian and I were headed home and listening to the KMOX broadcast of the Cardinal game. We barely made it in the house to turn on the TV and watch the Cardinals WIN! It was their second VICTORY of the DAY! At some point during the 9th inning while we were doing this, I noticed a phrase at the bottom of our screen…It read, “ CHRISTMAS in JULY”!

Immediately…this phrase jettisons me back to yesteryear; watching the Venture, K-Mart and Famous-Barr (your Christmas ANGEL store…!) ads as child. It never felt all the way right when the sales would begin describing Christmas and Winter Holidays when we were anticipating fireworks displays, heading to the pool, playing kickball in the yard, and collecting fireflies.

Ahhhhhh CHRISTMAS in JULY! To me, these words, CHRISTMAS in JULY, stir up music in my heart, mind and soul. While we do not feel ready for the Holiday Season to embark on us at this very minute, Brian and I LOVE the thought of CELEBRATION, FAMILY, FUN, & LOVE! Do you? What brings music to your ears? How does your heart experience an extra surge of happy beats? Is it a beautiful display of fireworks like many have taken in lately? Is it the laughter of children in the neighborhood playing? Perhaps it is an array of special people in your life or maybe even some important memories of days gone by.

Throughout July, maybe we take some time to reflect on what has been and what is yet to come by the time we will be making it through another calendar year. Has any event or happening resonated deeply with you? Among our summer favorites, we have integrated some small house and yard projects, sought to carve new paths within our daily work, intentionally focused upon being “there” for some, and have centered in on embracing the unpredicted events and opportunities we have been offered.

So, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, as you head to local sporting events, enjoy a favorite cool summer treat with those you love or simply enjoy the longer daylight hours of summer with taking just one more walk through the neighborhood, try to find moments to savor and embrace all of the beautiful; past, present and yet to come.

Do you find yourself already anticipating another holiday to come? Try not to resist or overlook the potential adventures awaiting in the here and nearly NOW! And, just sayin’…the ULTIMATE Christmas in July for US this year? Well, it is fast approaching as we anticipate the arrival of some of our dear extended family dropping in for a visit very soon…the elements of surprise and joy and new memories to make loom sure. To us, this is simply the BEST & that’s a WINNER!

Through the years

Amidst life’s fears

Whether it is in December or July

Or any other month, time flies by

From then & onto now

A heart surge & WOW

Perspective matters

Amidst life shatters

Whoever you are with & whatever you do

Delight in each & every moment…be TRUE

Memories & photos galore

Of those we so much adore

At the Grand Hotel

Our hearts did swell

From Ted Drewes to CITY & Cardinal Nation

Our people are with us in fresh anticipation

For the unexpected to be yet lead the way

As newfound memories are formed today

Stirring arrays of enlightened emotion

Amidst loved ones and the commotion

Seek for reasons to celebrate

Letting JOY & PEACE infiltrate

Always find memories of days gone away

By looking ahead to walk into another day

More than research or reflection

Relationships deserve protection

As with a sundae topped with whipped cream & a cherry

Lean into and embrace every moment and do not tarry

Cherish the treasures of life and good all year long

Clean out spiff up and with possibility move along

With agility finding our best attitude

Coloring every bit of life in gratitude

Lean into the BEAUTY-FULL

Embrace the WONDER-FULL

As always we invite you to the party of reminiscing, celebrating or sharing…your thoughts are welcome…so join the conversation.

Alongside her husband B

Ahhhhhh Flooded with Nostalgia!

Tue, 28 May 2024 13:33:59 GMT

Ahhhhhh Flooded with Nostalgia! Have you ever been filled or overflowing with Nostalgia which flowed in like a tsunami?

So what is nostalgia??

It is sometimes defined as a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for a possible return to some past period. Nostalgia may also invoke a sense of homesickness or invite cherished memories of days gone by.

Nostalgia is triggered by something reminding an individual of an event or item from their past. This resulting emotion can vary from happiness to sorrow. The term "feeling nostalgic" is more commonly used to describe pleasurable experiences but can actually also be triggered by times of sadness or discomfort.

Nostalgia is one way of coping with things in life like social isolation or disconnectedness, loneliness. Times of adversity can trigger nostalgia because remembering who we were and where we have been helps us to identify how we want to grow forward and offer us elements of continuity to do so.

Nostalgia is known to serve several important psychological purposes and we can distinguish three types…

Restorative, longing for the restoration of a lost comfort or home or feeling or person;

Utopian, transforming our longing into an idealistic feeling or memory;

Reflective, leading us to focus on recovering from a perceived loss as we ponder questions of our past history.

Why is nostalgia so “powerful”? Some experts in the field have found that nostalgia activates a network of brain regions which are involved in memory, emotion, and reward. These regions assist us in retrieving memories and processing emotions.

Hopefully these emotional events produce a loop of positive emotions eventually, and assist or help us through times of transition and uncertainty. Additionally, they may serve to boost our hearts and brighten our outlook on the future as these memories remind us of our ability to grow and persevere.

Nostalgia can offer feelings of pleasure, good, settled, comfortable…

Nostalgia can awaken sadness and stir memories…

What sorts of memories bring you to feeling nostalgic? Are they pleasant? Peaceful? Thought provoking? Perhaps sad or maybe even distressing? Maybe some nostalgic emotions are filled with pressure for some reason and truly do not feel okay. Whatever feelings of nostalgia that rise up in us, we have them, and regardless of our feelings or perspectives, we may want consider working through them in order to grow and move forward in life.

Some feelings of nostalgia which come up for me might resonate with some of us gathered here as well…

Simply the word… HOME

Family

Going home

A special song or tune floating through the air like “…and

I think to myself…what a wonderful WORLD…”

Fresh baked cookies…YUM!

Grilling out

A favorite dish or pie

The smell of home

The smell of spring…and fresh grass growing

Baseball season, the crack of the bat…

Or fresh rain

A Creek or Lake

Going fishing or hiking

FAMOUs BARR French Onion Soup…(wait…am I dating myself??!)

The Forest or woods

The beach or mountains

The last day of school, graduation ceremonies…

Covid 19 Pandemic, the Loss of a loved one…

For many reasons we can all easily become flooded with Nostalgia.

Recently…Brian and I attended a conference event in Washington D.C. and as we were walking down the street of the National Mall…I was FLOODED with Nostalgia…

Not only because of hearing The Star Spangled Banner done beautifully at the conference venue earlier that day, not just because we had been to Arlington cemetery to honor those who have served our country…while these were amazing experiences, walking down the streets of Washington D. C. being reminded of the sights and sounds I recalled visiting numerous times growing up and then several times in younger adulthood with our son David, and one other time with Brian…my emotions of nostalgia were gushing in like a water fall! I simply cannot be there without nostalgia filling me…but not in regard to the above listed. The nostalgia I feel when I am in our nation’s capital typically reverts back to one specific time there…where my parents, dear friends, one of whom was a physician and other extended family members who lived in the area were touring.

Among the other sightseeing and touring plans…on one specific morning our entire group was headed to the White House for a VIP tour…Having relatives live nearby we had been before but absolutely loved the opportunity to return and be reminded of America the Beautiful!

The morning of, I awakened and oh dear I felt AWFUL! Now I am not often sick, nor was I a sickly child growing up, I achieved perfect attendance throughout my school years. So I went to my Mom and told her I wasn’t feeling well, to which she replied, “Oh you’re fine, we don’t want to ruin anyone’s time here. Get dressed come on down to breakfast because we have VIP tickets to the White House today!” So I aimed to pull my young self together and fumbled to the dining room. When I mentioned I was not at all hungry, I was told by both my Mom and her identical twin sister that I needed to eat some Wheaties! And so I did, (hint…this did not turn out well!).

Let’s fast forward a few hours after a half hour drive to downtown D.C. a walk to the White House VIP line to stand in and wait. It was July. I was fading and FAST. I continued feeling like I wanted to just sit or lay down anywhere…and as a tweenager, this was not “cool”. But the longer the day carried on the worse and worse I felt.

Persevere I did…so we finally make it into the White House…I barely made it through our tour, when all of a sudden, we arrived to the classic space we have all seen for years on TV where the podium sits beyond a RED carpet, the American Flag is placed in front of the Blue Curtain which displays an emblem of The White House…Yes, right there in that spot, by body could no longer hold onto the Wheaties I had complied to eat earlier in the day and I threw up…I was so incredibly ILL…Our VIP tour turned into a chaotic mess with…

Secret Service coming out of the walls from hidden doorways…

Family shocked…

Guests appalled…

And my Mother and I being whisked through a doorway down a stair well to a bathroom for freshening up…

Now, on to the rest of this day and for another few days, my family and friends continued touring and sightseeing, having me trapse along, just KNOWING I would be better soon…However, I did not recover, I became weaker and weaker and weaker…YIKES! What was happening???

So…the rest of the story is…I ended up with an extended stay in the Washington D.C./Virginia area and had to endure an emergency appendectomy while there. All along it was my appendix. Wow! Who knew? No one! So when I say Nostalgia is not always a “WARMING or COMFORTING” thought it’s not right?!

The greater question for us is…

When we are flooded with nostalgia…WHAT do we do with it? How are we to handle it? Do we introspect and try to grow forward?

Are we able to use nostalgia as a springboard for another level of healthiness? Where does self-care fit into nostalgia?

So…why? Why do I share this with you? Partly because this season we are in right now can definitely be one of nostalgia inviting sentimentality and reflection. So I share this story with you to encourage you along the path of life. It is my firm belief there is not ever waste to any experience we have endured. Not all nostalgic experiences feel comfortable… yet…We can still learn from them!

When we feel or perhaps fear there may be some wasted spaces and places we have tread, or positions we find ourselves in or even new opportunities which arise. Perhaps, regardless of our stage in life it is time to recycle, repurpose and reuse these emotions to mindfully move along the path of life. As we go through the here and now and circumstances seem to spin out of control, regardless of the situation, memories, moments or hardships we are enduring, may we quest for settling into the flooding of memories, savoring the best and the beautiful as we learn from each scenario.

Not long ago, our grown son was over and we were sharing robust conversation with him. Very organically, the topic of nostalgia came up. He began unfolding his view on nostalgia and mentioned emphatically the fact that people often only use the word as attached to super positive memories. Brian answered him saying, you know Mom has had some things to say on this lately. And as I agreed, I may have been heard saying while smiling… “Ahhhhhh that’s my son!” And of course I was once again… Flooded with Nostalgia!

Seasons of Nostalgia…those sentimental longings, and deep affections for the past and personal associations. Every reminiscence, remembrance, and recollection, which whisks us away to different times…may we embrace them as a reminder to dig deep and strengthen on!

Let us revel in each and every situation

Finding peace and grace and celebration

Through the years

Beyond our tears

With mindful presence

Illuminating our essence

Truth to discern

Each & every turn

Find hope & song

To pull you along

Ever strong and true and bold

As our story is shared and told

Alongside her husband B

In Honor of SEL Day… March 11th

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 18:39:24 GMT

By now in your journey… regardless of age or stage, you have most likely heard the term “SEL” or Social Emotional Learning. But what does it really and truly imply? SEL is a detailed and multi-faceted process through which we function by; understanding and managing emotions, making plans and striving to achieve goals, feeling and expressing empathy and thought for others, establishing and maintaining positive and healthy relationships, and displaying responsibility in decision making.

Extending far beyond personal feelings, SEL is an ongoing process of merging what one knows to be true in a situation and then implementing appropriate skills and actions to direct and take the next steps and so on.

SEL skills do need to be taught and practiced, lived out. Similar to other natural bents, some individuals are inclined and wired more instinctively to implement effective SEL competencies into real life situations.

When prioritizing SEL in life, components of EQ or Emotional Intelligence will undoubtedly rise up. Possessing qualities of emotional intelligence will lead us to face life and the inevitable crisis points with lower stress levels and fewer overreactions. Self and social-awareness and management of self and relationships are the focus.

Maintaining self-awareness and accepting one’s own capabilities and limitations leads to a strong foundation for being impactful in achieving success in self-help and growth, benefiting those around us, and fostering an overall sense of peace and happiness.

Effectively navigating through life, an abundance of situations offer opportunity. Opportunity to lead even when it is not the title given to you, opportunity to stay quiet when you desperately yearn to set the record straight or prove your point, opportunity to speak up when you feel emotionally and physically tongue tied.

We all have had and will continue to have growth experiences in the realm of Social Emotional Learning and its implementation. Are you able to articulate benefits you have gained thus far from seeking to learn and integrate SEL into your own life? Will you be willing to probe deeper?

When have you struggled to implement SEL? Truth be known, we’ve all been there right? In the midst of an unbelievable conflict, one we may not have seen coming and could never have imagined…what happens in that moment?

Seek to find commonalities of life experiences, both positive and negative, build on them well with a hope to acquire fresh skills, and hone in on the “important” and lasting impacts. After this…take the risk to make needful life, heart, and soul adjustments…This is an ongoing, thought provoking and HONEST process…Go for it!

What are the differences in our emotional stances which may lead us to pursue better comprehension of our own heart and mind, embracing another person’s situation, and then demonstrating an appropriate and respectful demeanor amidst chaos and edginess that in the moment feels impossible to navigate through?

Bottom line question…Where are you in your journey?

It is not ever too late to learn

Find a way to take a fresh turn

Many talk about being well-rounded

Consider options to keep you grounded

In strength manage yourself and understand

Impact for good no matter where you land

With courage, confidence, and initiative

Challenge yourself to live appreciative

Embracing self and others mind and soul

Making a plan to achieve the next goal

Take each deliberate step abandoning haste

Not one experience will you want to waste

When called upon to sympathize

Willingly take the risk to empathize

Even with limitations and a lack of access

Trust and wait and believe in the process

Mindfully journeying leads to a continuum of health

Social Emotional Learning offers heart and soul wealth

Alongside her husband B

Add into this conversation by sharing personal experiences & scenarios!

Life is a Puzzle

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 16:40:14 GMT

January 29 th is NATIONAL PUZZLE DAY…This is truly what they say!

This may be overstated at times, but oh so true. Doesn’t LIFE feel like an ENORMOUS puzzle to untangle or solve? Do you feel like you are relentlessly on guard to cover, work through, need to solve or figure a whole lot of somethings and happenings out?? Are you concerned in the here and now and are not all the way sure how to get through just for today? Relating to good friends, acquaintances, coworkers, or even family members or siblings might feel puzzling and filled with emotions which need to be navigated through to put into place.

Our interactions with others and many relationships oftentimes cause us to wonder if what we are doing, saying or how we are being matters. And then we continue to ponder more and find ourselves on a wondering jaunt, maybe even a bit puzzled as we are seeking ways out of how we might find the best way to work out of or hopefully work well to get through the current MAZE before us.

Perhaps in this puzzling life…we will all benefit from some tried and true thoughts toward demystifying the discombobulation which feels looming and foggy.

Staying active and aware of mindful living both physically and mentally matters. Cognitive clarity is a vital component to life and living. When we endeavor forward in a variety of activities we are naturally energized. Engaging in conversation, thinking activities, reading aloud and quietly, along with completing puzzles are all pieces which help us keep vitalized and refresh on this journey we call life.

Resiliency is seizing opportunities to enhance and multiply existing strength. Are you resilient?

Implementing mindfully rich activities refreshes and offers a boost assisting us in building upon our fortes while simultaneously challenging areas which could benefit from growth.

Operating with a mindset of extending flexibility and grace helps us connect to others and offers an internal positivity enhancement. A sense of belonging is a beautiful thing, so go for it!

As you dabble forward and seek to make sense out of the happenings from your own life and times puzzle… Stand strong to end the first month of this new year well…ready to carry forward...and learn or attempt something new…You just may find refreshment on the way.

Exercise your lifelong learning capabilities and find some sort of PUZZLE to engage in, perhaps a recipe to try or tweak and GO FOR IT!

Join the conversation here by adding in on what YOUR most challenging life puzzle is…or share something you’ve tried to learn and part of the journey you traversed in doing so…

Puzzling through life

Causes joy and strife

With focus resilience and grit

Work your way out of the pit

From a maze to an acrostic or a word search

Some situations threaten to leave us in a lurch

The power of a puzzle…

Does it feel like a muzzle?

Or will you work life’s puzzles and seek to solve

Finding meaningful teachable moments to resolve…

In some ways all lives are a puzzle to be seen and loudly heard

Other days so much action takes place without a spoken word

Whatever the season

However you reason

May your life puzzle come together in spite of the suspense

Mindfully leading your heart and soul to help it make sense

Alongside her husband B

For extended inspiration…check out these links!

https://blog.tcea.org/five-crossword-puzzle-makers/?utm_source=TCEA+Emails&utm_campaign=6bf24803e6 RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_f3a5bb651e-6bf24803e6 68333575&ct=t(RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN)&mc_cid=6bf24803e6&mc_eid=00c98f8b07

https://blog.tcea.org/happy-national-puzzle-day/

Unraveling Life's Tangles: A Journey of Inspiration, Balance, and Renewed Vigor

Thu, 18 Jan 2024 19:26:37 GMT

Recently…in the midst of navigating the regular chaos of life, seeking to process the international distress, and intentionally taking time for mindful conversations, I have been INSPIRED!

Inspired by caring individuals who are questioning life as well.

Motivated to find the good, because it is there.

Refreshed to continue doing so many tasks I LOVE.

Seeking to achieve balance.

Why do we assume every piece of life has been easy? Quite frankly, it feels tangled! Not long ago, I was in the process of working with my hair, yes my hair. The set-up is amazing, including heavy duty durable outlets in a hidden cabinet and space for all of the necessary equipment to take care of my “aging” hair. This system works well, has for quite some time, keeps the bathroom tidy and is typically maneuverable. One specific day it became super complicated…oh no…all of those times I was hurrying, avoiding keeping things in order, came to haunt me with the TANGLING of much more than the 2 cords it had begun with. YIKES! I had a huge mess, was in a frantic hurry and just kept pulling and pulling and pulling. Disconnection happened.

Finally, since I was unable to make use of any of the products or hair care pieces due to the invasion of the tangled mess;

I stopped…

Knelt down…

Took a big breath…

Decided to devote the necessary effort and time to regroup this area…

Ahhhhhhhhh it all came back together, operating as it needed to be and soon there was no evidence of a tangle at all.

In this moment I found myself, mind wondering and wishing situations in life could be ever so easy to untangle. And even more strongly, hoping I would recognize needs immediately and find a way to intentionally untangle every “ISSUE” with greater efficiency. Life does not always go as planned. Sadness looms, loved ones in my circle are fighting for their lives, light bulbs burn out, chaos prevails, calm seems to be only an unreachable dream, and happiness a mere wish.

However, in the midst of all of this, let us aim to remember…Balance is key, questions are okay, and yes life is filled with an array of tangles.

So…what are we to do now? I certainly don’t have exact answers…but maybe we can quest forward with renewed vigor to:

Redefine balance as a goal & accept uneven terrain through the process.

Perhaps find and opt for another lens to view through.

Ponder living in a state of Being amidst all of the Doing.

Consider whether lovingkindness is a filter for which you function.

And…What about dedicating some time right now to untangling something and making TODAY your BEST DAY EVER?! Is this possible?

What if we all prioritize maintaining the TANGLES by rebooting, refreshing, and reviving? And possibly attempt to approach these tasks and TANGLES as gifts to unwrap? Endeavoring to see all situations and individuals as filled with potential, and focusing on the good, the beauty, and the best, which is yet to come…WOW! Well…wouldn’t that be WONDERUL?!

On the journey

Life feels heavy

Take the time to realize

Good is there to recognize

Inspiration is possible

Motivation is do-able

Working well through pain

Feels as if there is no gain

Refresh your systems to reboot & flow

Embracing the next season might show

The beautiful and best

Even when put to test

Comes through

Surprising you

Take a look and smile

Be engaged for awhile

Learning and leaning into the navigatable

Living and loving through the inevitable

Somehow some way

Things will all be okay…

Love and learn to gain and grow

Others might be inspired to glow

Alongside her husband B

Petty Points

info@vivabove.com (VIV Builder) — Mon, 26 Jun 2023 18:43:30 GMT

Petty Points

Many know…we reside in Kirkwood, MO and so enjoy the perspectives and delight of keeping up with the local news via the small community newspaper, the TIMES, and as opportunity arises we embrace the gift of viewing life from a variety of lens’.

The article we are sharing here does just this. Here is an excerpt from an email exchange I shared with one such writer… “For quite a while now, I've found your articles in the Webster-Kirkwood TIMES so quaint and poignant! After tabbing another one of your articles, my husband urged me to reach out to you and offer you a link to the website we host, specifically, the BLOG portion. We love LIFE, LIVING, GIVING and LOVING on each other and those around us. Would you consider allowing us to feature YOU on our BLOG? The Petty Points article resonated at a variety of levels and is so appropriate at numerous levels of life.”…

And so here you go…Petty Points by Stefanie Downs…

For years, my husband and I played a game I like to call “Petty Points.” The only objective in

this game is to silently tally your misery and compare it to your spouse’s. For every wretched

task you do, you get a point- the more lousy the task, the more points it’s worth. Also, doing

anything relatively fun or fulfilling erases points on your side. If you are more miserable than

your partner, then your only reward is that you get to silently resent them. It really brought to life

that saying: play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

There was no consent to enter this game either, we just both sipped into it somehow. It then

became exponentially exacerbated when kids entered the picture. It was absolutely terrible.

After mentally calculating and comparing columns one day, I saw the toxic waste it was creating

inside of me. Despite my fierce competitive streak, I knew that the only thing worse than losing

was living like this; I made a conscious choice to bow out of the game.

I slowly started carving out time for myself, but in the beginning that time was laden with guilt.

He was still a torrent of energy swirling around me while I sat cross legged at the coffee table

and doodled.

The guilt that I felt was not necessarily coming from him either, it was an inside job. The same

voice in my head that would silently judge him for sitting and watching tv while I furiously folded

my third basket of laundry was now judging me. I was shaming myself for piddling away time

that could have been spent striving. I eventually gathered steam by prioritizing the things that

refueled me though, and I loosened my grip on the guilt.

In the last year, he finally dropped out of the game too and started taking care of himself. That

dull ache of misery has finally drained from his eyes, and I can see him freeing himself from the

shackles of shame.

We reflected on the changes we have seen in each other recently, and both of us agreed that

we like each other better when we take care of ourselves. Now he routinely asks me, “What are

you going to do for yourself this weekend?” Who knew that the only way for us to win was to

stop playing?

When you find yourself playing Petty Points, it’s really hard to end the cycle. You cannot just set

the scoreboard down unfortunately. (I tried that. I’d berate myself any time I accidentally started

tallying points, but shockingly that didn’t make anything better.) The only way out of the game is

to endure the guilt until you can ultimately reset your system to stop elevating your work ethic

above your well-being.

As always…we would love to have and hear your feedback…Feel free to share yours…

Here is ours…☺

Life ever so Full

Push shove pull

Here we go

And Oh NO!

Pondering points and keeping a score

Only leads to the frustrations of more

At times we are on a quest desiring a retrieve

Yet often surprised by fresh peace we receive

How will you consider to evolve?

Will you allow your heart a revolve?

Go forward today seeking positive recover…

When you do boundless JOY is set to hover!

Alongside her husband B

Cognitive Distortions 5 and Final Recap

Fri, 09 Dec 2022 17:43:37 GMT

Cognitive Distortions 5 and Final Recap

Ready or not here come the Holidays dashing on in…So we ask again…what is it for YOU? Fa La La La La…!? Or OH NO…here we go!

Regardless of where you fall on this…we find ourselves in the midst of another booming and bustling holiday season. So… as we all enjoy some extra glimmering lights and celebrations…we are going to aim to wrap up this gift of cognitive distortion studies and top it off with a beautiful “bow” of your color choice…while sprinkling in some hopeful “enlightenment” to glow you through!

As much as it depends on you…Will you aspire to change negative thoughts into positive ones? Are you able to aim toward changing your thoughts in order to transform your outlook on life? Cognitive distortions feel real and are very different than just feeling discontent, distortions are disruptive. More than Murphy’s law of stating anything that can go wrong will go wrong, the truth is and remains…sometimes bad does happen, we find ourselves swirling in an emotional uproar which we did not sign up for.

We must focus on what we CAN do and how we are able to approach navigating a situation while keeping health and wholeness at the forefront. Practice makes permanent. A long time belief of ours is a conviction of the way we go about tasks, approach life, living, conversations, and interactions matters and impacts situations greatly. The ongoing goal remains to consistently, diligently, and persistently work toward mindfully finding and accepting the truth of the matter and journeying forward from there.

Many of us are prone to habitually thinking in ways which are inaccurate, irrational, and self-defeating. We must protect ourselves from this negative “self-talk” and unnecessary stress and anxiety. By practicing to change negative thoughts into positive ones, we will improve and stabilize our mood and overall well-being and this will become permanent and lasting!

Remember to be diligent toward affirming thoughts and statements. An affirmation is a statement describing the way you would want your life or self to be at its very best. Setting goals to get there along with repeated affirmations can have tremendous power to act as a very positive force in our lives.

If you are interested and desire an outline to help you when creating affirmations, here you go:

When developing an affirmation, always use the present tense.
Use only positive words in your affirmations.
Use first person.
The affirmation should create a strong picture of you, successful in whatever way you desire, right now.
Keep your affirmation short and simple.
If you have religious or spiritual faith, use your faith to enhance this process.

So…Let’s go for it…and seek to be mindful and intentional through our interactions as we remain on the lookout for self-FULL reactions on our part…changing them into mind-FULL interactions with self and others. Making every moment count matters!

Remember even if you feel dismay…it does not have to lead you down a path of disarray!

Focus and purpose on what you can do and stay on the path moving and growing forward as a lifelong learner remaining willing to adjust your thought process. When you feel like you don’t add up or you’re not enough or cannot reconfigure how to BE enough...transition away and off of that slippery slope and find alternatives to cope positively through affirmations and beyond!

Processing through life

Feels like navigating strife

Filter through to find the joy

Focus on good and employ

Refrain from jumping into negativity

Keep on questing toward positivity

Catastrophe and calm reason

May not merge in each season

Push through and say you will

Even on standby find a calm still

Yes maybe you shoulda or coulda

But let go of the revolving woulda

Grit and persevere

Mindfully drop fear

Inward and outward connectivity

Offers refreshed and renewed ability

Dig deep to be flexible and your soul nourish

Revel in this newfound agility and flourish

Challenge comes causing a tangle

Let it with your JOYS intermingle

When hope is distant without a WIN

Gear up to find the next path to begin

With affirmation press through

Recalling often all you CAN do!

Alongside her husband B

Cognitive Distortions 4

Wed, 23 Nov 2022 15:55:50 GMT

Cognitive Distortions 4

Grappling through emotions, chaos, perceptions, and expectations can be rough, tough, and tumble indeed!

As we embark forward to covering this helpful, needful, but often skipped over, (or perhaps avoided), topic the goal is to do so with the timing of holidays upon us and rolling forward very quickly!

So...our next set of sub-topics in the realm of cognitive distortions involves Emotional Reasoning, Fallacy of Fairness, ALWAYS Being Right, and Heaven’s Reward Fallacy.

Emotional Reasoning , this is where our emotions and feelings tend to scramble or hijack our clear logical thinking process. Our brain is so overcome with colliding emotions and perhaps a tsunami of unsettledness, all rational thoughts and logic seems to disappear. For many in our culture, this is a counter intuitive idea. One questions...these are my TRUE feelings; how can they be inaccurate? They are mine, what I truly feel in this moment and each one is 100% accurate. This thinking can quickly become a “Self-FulfillingProphecy” over time. Examples of this dangerous way of thinking may sound like:

“I feel stupid, therefore I am stupid.”

“I feel inferior, so I am a second-rate person.”

“I feel hopeless, so I am doomed to fail.”

“I feel inadequate, unsuccessful, and unhopeful so I have no hope to succeed.”

“I feel it, so it MUST be TRUE!!”

Assuming our emotions and feelings reflect non-negotiable facts can be a dangerous path to traverse. Accepting our emotions and current feelings as pure truth is different from owning our feelings and seeking to work through them.

Lately, we are all thinking toward, planning for, and perhaps even hoping for a beautifully wrapped up holiday season filled with peaceful planning, delicious delicacies, and settled schedules. While these are noble hopes...hmmmm are they truly realistic?

Now, on the other hand, heading toward the holidays might stir the daunting memories of the recent or longtime past. Statements such as:

“Here comes another couple of months of misery as the holidays are ALWAYS miserable for us!”

“The holidays are NEVER happy around me; I hate the holidays and they hate me.”

Fallacy of Fairness involves a strong belief of your view and according to the rules and judgements you hold, anything which does not fall into your personal take on the situation.Cooperation and collaboration does not always seem or appear fair. But let’s unfold this a bit more, fairness versus equality. If something is fair, it meets the needs of all involved.For example, at the dinner table, when this is fair, each person eating is given the opportunity to partake of foods which will offer their physical body necessary nutrition. If a situation is equal, each person will be given exactly the same portion and provided with exactly the same foods to eat. Equality for someone who has a dietary issues won’t work in this scenario. If there is an allergy, giving each individual the same amount and type of foods is not reasonable. The same is so mentally and emotionally. Deductions we make in our thought process, ways we interact with and speak to in relationships does matter. While the hope is kindness would prevail, adopting thoughts such as...

“If my partner really cares about me and my wellbeing, they would take on more responsibility with this house”.

“If(a certain situation)happened to this person I would do _______,(therefore they should do what I BELIEVE I would do).Why are they not doing ________, (more or better or different), to/with/for me?“

"If (someone else)were going through a tough time like I am...I WOULD be calling and sending them cards...therefore, I KNOW they really don’t care because they are not calling and sending me cards.”

Fair and equal can lead us to extreme thoughts and cause us to place unnecessary judgements on ourselves and others.

Always being right , yikes, this is a cycling trap which keeps going around and around and around and around. In this case, we justify our own way of thinking or behaving...being wrong or at fault is entirely UNTHINKABLE. As this thought pattern continues, it FEELS so logical it gravitates quickly to illogical...And let’s face it, we have all been present and heard someone caught spinning in this type of a thought pattern. It feels almost impossible to listen and the deep desire is evident that the goal is WINNING...and there is no room for any sort of conversation, must less a debate. This can be fatal to relationships...let us raise our awareness and open our minds. Very different from compromising of self, we all learn from listening, considering, and then making informed decisions.

Heavens Reward Fallacy, sad but true, wouldn’t it be amazing if we were immediately noticed and rewarded EVERY time we KNOW and BELIEVE we had done the RIGHT thing?At times there is a tendency to invest so strongly, we are at risk of becoming inclined to ignore our own vital needs in hopes of a reward. This leads to a martyr’s viewpoint where themes of severe personal sacrifice and unproductive self-denial invade. While we all desire to love fully and completely and to be loved the same way, we must keep perspective.

So...if plans for the holidays do not seem to be coming together...remember priorities are noble, finding the important elements of a situation is imperative, but keep a healthy hold of yourself and seek to grasp all the good possible in regard to others.

So...for years...we have traditionally hosted a Thanksgiving Breakfast in an effort to include, connect, embrace, and celebrate with a diverse array of loved ones in our lives. 2019 marks the last year we hosted this event which traditionally exceeded 100 for attendees and offered 1000’s of beautiful memories. Covid (in our estimation) ended it...

Applying the aforementioned subtopics to this real-life scenario has been thought provoking...

Emotional Reasoning - We feel empty without carrying on this tradition so now every Thanksgiving is empty.

The truth is our Thanksgivings 2020 & 2021 looked to be very different but exactly what we and those who ended up joining us needed... and this one coming up...has already been a MIGHTY Adventure to plan and put together...woohoo!

Fallacy of Fairness –COVID killed our tradition and our lives are awful and UNFAIR.

The truth is Covid changed everyone’s life and view of traditions. We are grateful to have lived through it and we will see what the future holds!

ALWAYS Being Right -NO Thanksgiving event has EVER been what ours was...

The truth is there are an array of amazing Thanksgiving events and celebrations. Our style was right for us and we want to always remember the good which grew and the potential we have for moving forward while allowing those who have attended in the past to reignite the tradition or have freedom to have begun their own with a background of sincere inspiration!

Heaven’s Reward Fallacy –“ For Heaven’s sake....now we have to find something else to help us earn rewards...”

The truth is we would not have to do anything perceived as special to keep moving forward in life. The sacrifices and willingness we choose to make, we are doing with the best and healthiest intentions...we can sleep in peace every night!

While we have thought through the right time to re-open and re-ignite the tradition, we do not know when or if that will ever be we shall wait see;)! For now...we are going to gobble up the goodness which awaits us for this week! And for all who are reading this...we pray safety, health, and immense wellness for YOU & YOURS ☺

Processing through life

Feels like navigating strife

Filter through to find the joy

Focus on good and employ

Refrain from jumping into negativity

Keep on questing toward positivity

Catastrophe and calm reason

May not merge in each season

Push through and say you will

Even on standby find a calm still

Yes maybe you shoulda or coulda

But let go of the revolving woulda

Grit and persevere

Mindfully drop fear

When hope is distant without a WIN

Gear up to find the next path to begin

Press through

You CAN do!

Alongside her husband B

Cognitive Distortions 3

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 22:07:05 GMT

Cognitive Distortions 3

As we continue our dive into the topic of cognitive distortions…we will do well to recall…they have an uncanny way of wreaking havoc into one’s mind, body, soul, and holiday season!

So…let us “jump right in” as we look at the propensity of “ Jumping to Conclusions ” being loaded with ASSUMPTIONS . Assuming typically ignites us with thoughts and take aways of happenings and are “wrongly” assigned in our mind for ourself and others. We might do this by assuming those around us view situations and processes exactly as we do. This occurs in a variety of ways under the umbrella of cognitive distortions and can be a slippery emotional slope.

Mind Reading is one way, suppose you are at an event and decide you do not like what you are wearing and the event is a disaster. Automatically assuming “everyone is laughing at me”, and thinking they believe you look “unfitting” for the occasion is wrongful mind reading. The deduction in this case may sound like, “I should have worn something different and the event would not have been a disaster, everyone here thinks I look awful and displaced.” The truth is, everyone else, as most are, really more focused on themselves rather than anyone else. The event may have been a disaster regardless of whether you felt like you had the best outfit on for it or not, and chances are, one would be hard pressed to find even a handful of those who truly believed you were displaced for the event.

Another way assumptions surface may look like this; we think or believe someone is holding a grudge or resentment toward us and we stay there, we opt to live there, choosing not to have a conversation with the person to find out their view of reality. Perhaps you notice someone or even worse, a LOVED one looks at their phone or watch while you are presenting or sharing something and you automatically assume everyone involved is bored, or worse, that you are boring, this is quite likely a wrong assumption.

The propensity to interpret or predict things negatively when there are no facts to support the conclusions is a danger to a healthy mindset. We must protect ourselves from viewing through the lens of negative experiences and consistently attaching things inappropriately.

Simply put, be aware of mind reading where you may assume someone is reacting or thinking negatively of you or a given situation, without exploring and seeking the truth with accuracy. Another aspect of framing this is that we should aim to guard our hearts from “Fortune Telling and predicting things will turn out badly”. When we hold certain perceived truths close, it becomes an established FACT in our minds and proves to be very difficult to untangle.

Catastrophizing disaster and DOOM is no comfortable place to be. Some examples include; noticing a small blemish on your arm and believing it is cancer and assuming you will be dead soon. Self-blaming in regard to a project or person you helped if they are not readily successful.

Feeling all is at a loss and defeat is certain. Allowing the “what ifs” to invade before facts are retrieved, is harmful to the thought process.

In the middle of this, let us also remember to build others up, seek to assume good, settled, and okay. Finding the balance of looking at life with and for those we are in contact with matters. And the truth is, they are most likely doing the best they are able to at the moment! On the other hand, be realistic and fact check those you will choose to trust for the long term. Will you give it a try?

Recently, we traveled internationally and enjoyed a fabulous trip to Israel. We were challenged at a number of times throughout the trip to follow through on a couple of key elements within this topic. Magnifying, minimizing, and over personalizing. When we magnify, we overemphasize the importance of problems, issues, or mistakes. Minimizing is making everything in an out of balance way very okay. Rather than zoning in on the best or worst or too much on self when we have no control, we want to live and balance well from the inside out! So…when we boarded the airplane, and found our seats, while the numbers and letters listed were in sequential order, we were not seated together. It could have ruined a large portion of

the entire trip, caused an undue emphasis and worry about the flight to return home 10 days later. While processing through the “inconvenience” and “desire” we sought the help of a flight attendant and others in our group, and yes we did end up being able to sit together! Magnifying or minimizing the issue at hand would do no one any good. Over personalizing,“travel NEVER works out for us!” would not have worked either. Calmly finding balance, we

looked for and eventually found a solution. This time it worked.

Addressing the aspect of blaming, which is holding others responsible for an event or occurrence not entirely under their control would not be helpful either. In the aforementioned situation, to blame the flight attendant for the circumstance would have made a minor disturbance a lot worse. Self-advocation is a key element for achieving balance and solid outcomes.

And finally, the “ Fallacy of Change ” in this domain offers a reminder to own our individual beliefs, hopes for success, and desired outcome of happiness without overextending emotionally or viewing them as only productive if those around us fall into the exact step we desire or they are eagerly willing to change in order to do so. This way of thinking leads to a vicious and tumultuous cycle that one’s life is never good enough and all because of those around them. So, in our scenario above, the flight attendant was made aware but they had clear boundaries and limitations as to the amount of help available to offer. In this instance, pressing the flight attendant to give us new seating immediately would have been counter-productive. In our case and for this situation, we ended up seated together…until the return trip home…yikes, when it happened all over again…YIKES! And such as life, we are stretched, we seek to grow. We are blind-sided, we desire to bond. We may feel paralyzed, but in spite, let us seek to dig deeper and choose to be pro-active.

While this topic offers so much to process and can be lengthy, we hope you are able to zone in on raising your personal awareness to challenge, change, and benefit forward!

Processing through life

Feels like navigating strife

Filter through to find the joy

Focus on good and employ

Refrain from jumping into negativity

Keep on questing toward positivity

Catastrophe and calm reason

May not merge in each season

Push through and say you will

Even on standby find a calm still

Yes maybe you shoulda or coulda

But let go of the revolving woulda

Grit and persevere

Mindfully drop fear

When hope is distant without a WIN

Gear up to find the next path to begin

Press through

You CAN do!

Alongside her husband B

Cognitive Distortions Part 2

Tue, 11 Oct 2022 16:11:44 GMT

Cognitive Distortions Part 2

As we uncover the broad yet tedious topic of cognitive distortions…the driving question remains…How do we change…really change….? In order to do so for lasting impact, we need to identify our decisions and thought processes and work from there…As we do so, we will be more inclined to intentionally take notice of ourselves and then find truth in situations around us…There is great benefit to change and growth throughout life as we navigate situations.

Yes, these topics are much easier to read and talk about than to live out in the daily…but when we begin to accept the challenge of change…the outcomes we experience will begin to lead to lasting adjustments and benefits for the GOOD!

So…here we go…we are going to tackle the next few elements of cognitive distortions…

Polarized thinking, or the concept of all or nothing thinking, happens when we prioritize and get stuck into very EXTREME positive or negative possibilities. This quickly leads down the path of overly high expectations, and perfectionism reigns supreme…or seeing everything through a negative lens. We want to try and balance positive striving for healthy growth along with the concept of failing successfully and continuing on the path with positivity. In the realm of polarized thinking, a mindset of either good/bad perhaps success/failure exists. This mentality quickly leads into an emotional tsunami of EVERY TIME THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS and THINGS ARE NEVER GOOD or RIGHT. So…while we would like to think we are all balanced and able to stay even…these thought processes can catch us off guard and be a huge struggle.

Filtering is the next portion to unfold. Simply put, filtering is focusing solely on the negative struggles surrounding a situation and ignoring the positivity which exists. In the classroom, filtering may look like an educator acknowledging only the failures of a student and looks over all of the positive learning momentum occurring. Someone struggling with an addictive behavior may prioritize how “good” the action feels while overlooking the negative impact of health, social, emotional, and relationship issues.

Overgeneralization is an overarching view of life and living within the realm of ALWAYS and NEVER. This could look like being overlooked for a job, not being invited to interview and then one deducing they will not ever be gainfully employed. This can be extreme and version which cycles throughout every aspect of life for someone.

The final point we will look at for this section is Labeling. This is an extension of the aforementioned with even more extreme. One actually attaches a label to self or someone else. In this example, someone failing to complete a task deduces themself to being a complete LOSER or if someone else fails to complete a task one may label them as LAZY. This mislabeling goes from “something is wrong” directly to “I am” or “they are” “WRONG”.

Let’s look at the St. Louis Cardinals in the recent WILD CARD series…Yes, we were there, cheering, hoping, energizing…In case you are unaware of this series…The Cardinals made it to the post-season!! Woohoo! However, when they were there, oh no things did not go so well and the end result is, the STL Cardinals are no longer in the post season. And while the World Series will go on, it will not be an active part of the Cardinals future.

To say the Cardinals NEVER do well…is polarization.

To filter through the negative lens may be a response like they ARE AWFUL hitters!

To overgeneralize in regard to the recent ending of the STL Cardinal postseason may look like someone believing, “THEY NEVER WIN when I am there. I should NEVER go to a game again!”

To globally label the STL Cardinals as LAZY or LOSERS would not be accurate at all.

While it was a quiet walk to the car after game 2 in the Wild Card series for the STL Cardinals 2022 end of the season…

There were some amazing take aways lingering…

The end of an era, a BEAUTIFL era! Seeing Pujols and Molina wrap up their Hall of Fame careers. All of the milestones they have completed, along with the accomplishments of Wainwright this year, WOW!

The weather for both games. Could NOT have been better times to be at the ballpark!

The family and fan camaraderie. Excitement…a long winning history…the BIRDS on the Bat!

Enjoying baseball in the USA…the land of the free and home of the brave.

BUSCH stadium…as in STL…it is usually a better day when you are at Busch!

Processing through life

Feels like navigating strife

Filter through to find the joy

Focus on good and employ

Refrain from jumping into negativity

Keep on questing toward positivity

Catastrophe and calm reason

May not merge in each season

Push through and say you will

Even on standby find a calm still

Yes maybe you shoulda or coulda

But let go of the revolving woulda

Grit and persevere

Mindfully drop fear

When hope is distant without a WIN

Gear up to find the next path to begin

Press through

You CAN do!

Alongside her husband B

Cognitive Distortions

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 16:00:25 GMT

Cognitive Distortions:

As referred to priorly…we are going to embark on a robust and thought provoking journey. Not every aspect of every topic applies directly to every individual. However, typically when beginning to unfold mental health topics, a process begins inside us and can at moments feel very emotionally chaotic. We undoubtedly look at ourselves through the lens of the particular focus and then quickly to those we are closest to…Perhaps we begin to analyze those individuals in our lives who “cause agitation” in us at times…as we search for a reason why.

So without belaboring the process…let’s jump in!

What is a Cognitive Distortion ?

Cognitive distortions come in a variety of mental shapes and sizes and typically lead our thoughts down negative passageways. We can become bombarded with erupting ponderings and feelings, finding ourselves on a loop…a negative loop. This twisting roller coaster thought loop keeps our emotions in spinning mode. Simply stated, a cognitive distortion is when we are convinced in our mind of something which is not true, a negative untrue belief. An example of this may look like a constant reminder to oneself of feeling like they “always fail” when taking a risk, so since this is the case, one may come to believe they are a failure and should never take risks.

A negative thought may be based on a difficult experience, but our thoughts are not just thoughts …they actually interact with our feelings/emotions, and our bodies and behaviors are inclined to automatically react differently. Which comes first…? Is there a natural progression of thoughts? In the moment of negativity it can all feel like a swirling landslide of not knowing what is hitting you first…it kind of looks like this:

In the end, the most important item to consider; HOW DO WE CHANGE IT?

Based on the cycle displayed above, there seems to be a progression and the next graph indicates the same.

So…we all have hundreds of different situations we encounter every day; feeling slighted by a family member/friend/coworker, someone gets your order wrong at Starbucks, you get cut off in traffic, your child/student does not follow through with a task request (again)…and the list goes on.

Most of us would think these Situations generally lead to an Action in microseconds, an immediate reaction…they do, but there are a LOT of things that go on in that in between microsecond. A Physical Reaction …headaches, neck/back tension, nervous movement of pacing or bouncing your knee, red face/neck, heart palpitations, rapid breathing, stomach/digestive responses. Our Thoughts … this always happens to me … what did I do wrong to deserve this…I am a loser…I’m a horrible person…everything I touch ends up in failure. Our Emotions …sad, lonely, ANGRY, frustrated, anxious, grief, embarrassment, FEAR, worry, guilt, confused, OVERWHELMED. YES…we make a Decision in this process…even on the immediate reactions and it truly is our decision. And at the end of the day…we have decided our Action .

The question remains…HOW DO WE CHANGE IT??

The only thing we can change on this graph, so we make different, better, healthier Decisions , is to intentionally change our Thoughts . When we seek to change the way we think …it has a domino effect and leads to impacting change for everything else in the cycle.

Change these Cognitive Distortion’s … and you will change the trajectory of your life, relationships, career and outcomes!

So…where do you need help in self-identifying your own distorted thoughts? How can you change some of your own thinking?

Let’s intentionally begin taking note and notice…of self-first and then others and surrounding impacts. Filter through to find truth and dispel negative myths and perceptions. Let’s not hold onto the unpleasant and dwell there. Find a way to structure and restructure your mindset one situation at a time, collect your thoughts, and grow from there! Will you risk to do so?

Processing through life

Feels like navigating strife

Filter through to find the joy

Focus on good and employ

Refrain from jumping into negativity

Keep on questing toward positivity

Catastrophe and calm reason

May not merge in each season

Push through and say you will

Even on standby find a calm still

Yes maybe you shoulda or coulda

But let go of the revolving woulda

Grit and persevere

Mindfully drop fear

Press through

You CAN do!

Alongside her husband B

As always…we invite you to join in on the conversation!

Lessons learned from 4 Leaf Clovers

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 14:53:09 GMT

Lessons learned from 4 Leaf Clovers:

Growing up spending many mindful and long days outside enjoying creation and nature, from a very early age I would be found spotting yet again…another 4 leaf clover! I still hear my Dad’s resonating bass voice and distinct “grin” celebrating these small green treasures.

So…what is so special about a 4 leaf clover? Recently I’ve been thinking more and more about this, and as the photos display, it continues to be another abundant year! (No… we have not planted a field of them on our property…the pictures below are all within the past several weeks in different places)!

A quick google search declares the odds are about 1 in 10,000 to find a 4 leaf clover. These small little pieces of greenery seem to smile at me from all of the more common “3 leafers” they are surrounded by…and every time I spot one…I feel a fresh sense of JOY and HOPE!

Is there anyone out there who may resonate with this nostalgia which floods over and through me? Anyone???!

And by the way…JOY and HOPE for what?

Here are a few applicable lessons we’ve found to ponder…

Rain still comes storms do hover … However…my experiences show that a clover seems to shine more readily afterward…Hmmm…the glisten more pronounced after rain…So…what about us…is this ever true? Do we gather experiences to help us shine and polish up after a season tumultuous rain and storm?? Do we find the rays of golden sunshine in between? Perhaps even spotting a rainbow on occasion??!

Each 4 leaf clover is similar yet different . Leaf shapes and sizes and colors are unique. Looking or appearing different is okay. Uniqueness is a gift, embrace it!

Tattered and torn happens . How we manage the “storms” and hardships we must endure may leave a few rips or scars…but we can focus toward keeping strong from the roots through our core and beyond…While we may not share reasons for our brokenness, we can impact others with lessons learned.

A 4 leaf clover offers a reframe to change the lens from which we are viewing, providing opportunity for HOPE and fresh growth in an unexpected direction.

Hunting searching seeking and finding…all good…but sometimes things just appear, they come…and it can be such a blessing wrapped in hope and happiness. When beautiful comes your way…savor it!

Stay strong and move along! While most of us would love for life to be filled with an unending bonus of proverbial 4 leaf clovers and golden sparkles with colorful sprinkles…it is just not realistic. We can grab another reminder from these small green finds to find sustainability and strength when the climate is tough.

As Brian can attest…these 4 leaf clovers literally appear and stand out inviting me to recognize them. Such as life…when we are doing and being let us remember to… allow the good to appear. Growing through seasons we may feel as if our life and very being offers little meaning and then the next phase appears.

While Brian and I have been together since the late 1980’s…I will always remember the look on his face when we were outside walking together during the initial phase of the Covid-19 pandemic and he witnessed firsthand…a FIND! It did feel surreal indeed…and we do live in the Show-me-State…he has seen and now believes! May we all live maximizing each life opportunity to see and believe!

Tattered, worn, fresh, tall, or small

Special variety overflows through all

A unique finding of inspiration

May be a mindful declaration

Essential or necessary? Not really…

But perhaps a lift on a long journey

Let us fortify and sustain

Within the simple maintain

Find something in your life to glisten

Heart treading a path to simply listen

We never know what lies ahead…so do not wait

Robustly cheer and find small ways to celebrate!

What are “lessons” you have learned from nature and perhaps 4 leaf clovers? Feel free to add your thoughts here… :)

Spring is nearly gone Summer is coming in steamy HOT

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 13:44:00 GMT

Spring is nearly gone Summer is coming in steamy HOT…Are you ready both inside and out?

Our most recent writing and website post seems like so long ago…and it has truly been way too long for this overdue post. Like so many…life has offered us a variety of unexpected twists and turns with the adventure feeling like the longest roller coaster ride of summer!

A famous and thought provoking quote by Albert Einstein states, “The important thing is not to stop questioning.” As lifelong learners seeking to embrace and encompass situations by asking questions and discovering solutions, all too often, we are reminded inquiry can be tricky, feisty, telling, and possibly frustrating especially when answers to questions come and we are unprepared. While questioning eventually leads to the next steps in solving a problem…in many cases, the problematic situation looms heavily, twisting and challenging our mindful tranquility.

A diagnosis, death, ongoing disease, an additional medical test ordered, rising costs such as gas prices, how to structure time with a long summer ahead which feels unplanned and perhaps scattered.

What, or more importantly, WHO needs most of your time?

Ponder this…Are there issues and people who you are willingly gazing at, when they should only have a glance before you move on? Are there individuals or situations you are merely glancing at yet you should be engaging and implementing a stance of gazing upon? Gazing in order to invest and grow?

At times we overfocus on the non-important and the important needs are dropped, maybe even avoided. Where is the balance? How are we to stay strong and carry on? The temperature is not only changing outside, what is going on internally with your temperature?

We’ve recently found ourselves questioning the stress of now… leaning… balancing… focusing…recalling positivity and mindfulness, but most of all wondering again…where has time gone and where are we headed? Perhaps the most important question is HOW and with WHOM are we going to continue the journey…and simultaneously in desperate need of a BREAK!

Are you breathing, seeking, and pursuing peace despite circumstance? The phone is ringing right now, it is the doctor’s office…currently putting peace into practice.

Per usual…we welcome thoughts from all and embrace the chance to learn collaboratively if you have any personal tips to share.

In the meantime…find your PEACE! We just may run into you on the quest!

PEACE

Be still

Peace

Do fill

Peace

Into heart

Peace

Will Impart

Peace

Fill space and repair

Peace

Help erase all despair

Peace

Even when dreams don’t come true

Peace

Along with courage when life is askew

Peace

Rebuild establish and extend

Peace

Even when we cannot see to the end

Peace

Live there

Peace

Do share

Peace

Come and stay

Peace

Come what may

Peace

Begin

Peace

Within

Peace

Throughout

Peace

All about

Peace

Does rearrange

Peace

Offers change

Peace

Is beneficial

Peace

So mindful

Peace

Brings reason

Peace

Through every season

Peace

To you

PEACE

In you

FOMP

Mon, 17 Jan 2022 17:40:00 GMT

FOMP???

Have you ever thought about all the acronyms we use in life…many of them we have used for years…

TGIF

FYI

BTW

And for all of those Winnie-the-Pooh fans…Tigger’s popular phrase before bouncing off, TTFN… “Ta ta for now!”

Then when texting and social media growth began happening we expanded to…

LOL

OMG

Then acronyms grew more…

IDK

LMK

NVM

IMO (I thought this was a pizza)

And now many of us must look these up online to figure out what our kiddos and younger others are trying to communicate to us…

ROFL

B4N

ICYMI

TL;DR (If youngsters would pick up the phone and talk with us, maybe this wouldn’t happen)

There are other acronyms like YOLO (been around for a long time), FOMO is more recent…Fear Of Missing Out.

If you Google “Fear Of” a long list of phobias pop up. There are well over a 100 Phobias…the top two are the Fear of Spiders and Snakes; that’s odd…isn’t that more like common sense, and not a Phobia? There is also the Phobia or Fear of long words which ironically is 36 letters long…RLLY???

Reflecting the other night FOMP came to mind…Fear Of MisPerception. Had never heard of this…could I have stumbled on to the next social media craze?? Should I copyright this before posting?? Again, I Googled FOMP and found 26 acronyms, but not Fear Of MisPerception. Am I onto something?? What is it I mean by FOMP…?!

MisPerception:

A wrong or incorrect understanding or interpretation.

A false or inaccurate perception.

To perceive incorrectly, misunderstand.

Misconception, mistake, misunderstood, misread, misinterpretation, misconstrue…

Have you, or do you, have FOMP…Fear Of MisPerception?? Someone calls into question your character or motives…how do you feel when this happens? Fearful, defensive, angry, sad, offended…do you have a fight or flight reaction? Maybe your boss is cross examining you on your performance, or a decision you made. Could be a friend who misunderstood your sigh as a sign you are tired of hearing about their struggles.

Being misunderstood, blamed, labeled incorrectly causes sadness and maybe even DEPRESSION. It may make you feel like you are going crazy, not understanding how others can think “this” of you…Why would they think this way about me…?? How could they view me in such a way? What is wrong with me…GOD please please help!! Sleeplessness, not eating, (or eating way too much), because your mind will not, CANNOT, stop racing about the MisPerceptions, what others think about you…your reputation…your character, perhaps even a career.

Let’s view through another lens; What about the times you have a MisPerception of others?? You call into question someone’s character or motives…How do you feel when this happens? Fearful, defensive, angry, sad, offended…Do you have a fight or flight reaction? How are you processing those around you? You assume you know what that “look” meant…the clearing of the throat was obviously out of contempt, RME. Maybe your bosses “cross examination”, was really a quest to understand what is truly going on, a MisPerception on your or my part? The interaction with your significant other was passionate, not angry…or angry and not passionate??

IMHO, FOMP and MisPerceptions themselves, lead to many relational issues over time…assumptions, jumping to conclusions and mind reading…these may result in resentments or the building of walls between self and others. This can happen based on negative past experiences with others…and secondly in something we call Cognitive Distortions, or Negative Thinking Styles. Maybe you filter out the positives and only focus on the negatives…take a situation and misinterpret it or push it to the catastrophic edge…personalize, blame, create unrealistic expectations or perhaps you just have to be RIGHT…SRSLY this is too much to think about…

When you view others…is it their pain talking, or is it your misplaced pain doing the speaking? Are you over critical? How have you been misjudged and what will you do to try and not misjudge or misperceive others?

Going forward we will be looking at Cognitive Distortions at a deeper level…what are they and how can I change that negative thinking? Or perhaps a better way to say this is “stikin’ thinkin’.” Let’s mindfully lean into positivity, health and TRUTH…

Thoughts become our self-talk
Quickly they turn into a walk

By holding thoughts captive we take action
Mindfully giving definition to our direction

Find the blessed even when you are surrounded by the worst
Chaos will turn beautiful and offer your soul a freshness burst

Diligently seek to prepare
Consistently remain aware

Unexplainable moments come and may take our breath away
Yet, when invited and desired, peace presides and will stay

Find a smile
Let it stay awhile

Penetrating your inner heart
Igniting a freshened restart

Take in the sunrise
Right before your eyes

Don’t miss the settling of sunset
Lest the day’s progress we forget

Good awaits those who work and rest
Even in the midst of a never ending test

G2R

TTFN

GB!

Bottom line is we are all going to wrestle with authenticity and believability. Feeling fake is one thing being fake is another. Being assumed as not real when in the depths of your being you are real…may lead to FOMP!

As always…you are invited to join in this conversation

We all grow and learn so well through collaboration J

The post FOMP appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

ANOTHER Summer…GONE…Already?!?

Wed, 22 Sep 2021 17:55:00 GMT

Should it be such a surprise when time seems to dissipate before our eyes? We realize and even accept the fact that time is on a continuum and moving forward. Moments we wish would linger seem to cycle on through all the faster and feel gone before we know it. Certain moments or situations we would rather forget and leave in the past nudge in and take over the present.

Ahhh the freshness of the next season…Let’s embrace the here and now and raise our intention to mindfully cherish what, or rather WHO, matters most. Embrace recent opportunities for growth and keep putting one foot gracefully in front of the other regardless of the season.

Remember those childhood games of kick ball, when it was your turn to be the “kicker”? Do you ever recall when the pitch wouldn’t feel just right? How quick we were to holler out “DO OVER”?! Perhaps we find ourselves longing for a “DO OVER” on a task, the past season, a conversation, or situation. Regardless of the possible pain, regrets, or the circling propensity to re-do something, limitations exist.

Consider looking at a way to re-frame the assortment of memories or remembrances or thoughts which feel unchangeable in order to transform your approach. Transforming our current mindset just may lead to peace amidst the unexpected bombardment of life scenarios.

One evening this past summer we found ourselves reeling from an unexpected experience which caused us to propel into a state of denial and shock, quickly we were led to many emotions including panic, angst, and disbelief. As summer unfolded, this particular situation took many twists and turns from day to day…even minute to minute…and there we were right in the middle of it screaming and crying, “DO OVER!!” Over time, we have worked to accept the challenge to reframe and focus forward.

Journey continuing on this end. How about you? Feel free to add in and share your thoughts and experiences. Nonetheless…

Happy AUTUMN as we embrace this FALL
A time to review, renew, refresh, and recall

Enable the season of HARVEST to help you reflect
Upon opportunities given to reframe and redirect

Every kind thought and helpful gesture
Offers propensity for a restored posture

What endeavor will you pursue?
As you thoughtfully plod through

Continue to step mindfully and flow
Willing to learn and quietly grow

Will you intentionally believe?
Open your heart and receive…

Love learn and into the process lean
Be okay for things to remain unseen

Stay strong even when the task at hand you may dread
A deeper purpose may be on the horizon…just up ahead

The post ANOTHER Summer…GONE…Already?!? appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Good bye SPRING Hello SUMMER!

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 14:05:00 GMT

Good bye SPRING Hello SUMMER!

Anyone who knows my siblings or family of origin even a ½ inch deep very well may have heard this phrase… “I was raised on an organic garden before they were popular!”

Not only were we raised with these gardens, we ate from them, tended to them, and yes throughout the 70’s were “required” to participate in gardening…weeding, hoeing, preparing the soil, picking the crops, canning the goods…much time spent for the garden fare….YUM!

I share all of this background because quite honestly…the way I happened upon mindfulness in my life evolved similarly to my love of fresh garden goods and true appreciation for work and rigor in life associated within the realm of gardening…in a very organic manner…

Breathing, Thinking, Pondering, Reflecting, Researching not only in the scholarly sense of reading the works of so many others but inquiring through the thoughts, experiences, and lessons springing from my own heart and soul. Not only searching oneself, but researching the whys just may equip you forward…

Life…Is it ever about being in the right place at the right time?? Perhaps sometimes…Who knows? Another fun fact only a few have come to know about me is my inclination for finding four leaf clovers…Not searching, seeking, looking in an unending manner…literally being out on a walk aware and noticing and then stopping and collecting the harvest…Since I can recall…every year I have collected a variety at random times and places.

This year has been bountiful and abundant in regard to 4 leaf clovers…what a sweet reminder of FAITH, HOPE, LOVE, “LUCK”, JOY, PEACE, HEALTH!!! And…perhaps…being in the right place at the right time unknowingly and just going with it…Sometimes we quest, other times we are just called to go with it…

The unexpected spring storms of life happened “organically” as I was growing up, they are still happening now… readjustment has been and will be called for…Change and a mode of flexibility feels not only constant but in some ways compelling. This concept unfolds similarly for all of us, yet so different due to our personal growth path through life.

Situations or another way to frame it is…a SEASON of GROWTH…has the power to STOP us in our tracks…STAY with us…and STING over and over and over…Or we can dig a little deeper, grow a little stronger, and seek a fresh new harvest….

It’s SUMMERTIME!! Ahhhh…just those words bring a feeling of RELIEF, extra peace, more Ted Drewes, freedom…Enjoy the longer evenings, a LOT of fresh air and grow forward!

Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure
Nor this thing nor that, but simply growth
We are happy when we are growing. William Butler Yeats

When unexpectedly called to readjust
Keep moving forward despite the thrust

The heart will mindfully show
A soul garden indeed to grow

When you question what to do
Hold on and you’ll get THROUGH?!

Be willing and open to take a new gander
Let your summer stance be… to PONDER

Continue to go and you will grow
Always be willing to quietly show

Quest for honest peace and light
Regardless of the doom or plight

Although the process may feel too long
Eventually it will lead you to a new song

Love learn and into the process lean
Be okay for things to remain unseen

Stay strong and get through even what you may dread
A deeper purpose is on the horizon…and just up ahead

Are you GROWING?!? Is it SHOWING?!?! Keep it FLOWING!

The post Good bye SPRING Hello SUMMER! appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Changing Forward

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 13:26:00 GMT

Recently…Some reading and conversations based on the work of John Dewey inspired us to look around and ponder life through some varying lenses. Dewey offers much to think about in the realm of learning and growing forward within the culture at hand. “Were all instructors to realize that the quality of mental process, not the production of correct answers, is the measure of educative growth, something hardly less than a revolution in teaching would be worked.” (John Dewey)

Simply put and looking at his work through the lens of the “classroom of life” there are many components to explore. Chaos, clutter, challenges. Clearing out, cleaning up, changes.

All are inevitable as we navigate life…we seem to circle back around to the question of How? Why? Now…where is here? And how did we get HERE?! CHANGE… it is going to happen. Expectations, dependence on what we assumed would be, and disappointment invades in even the smallest or most manageable situations.

Just the other night…we were driving home, it was dark and rainy…all of a sudden a DEER ran out. Brian hit the DEER…Or…did the DEER hit him? (THAT is THE QUESTION!!?!?) It seemed to come from nowhere. We were traveling in separate vehicles. So…from a very different perspective Brian saw the deer suddenly and swerved thinking he had missed the DEER…He had, there was just another one coming from the side and they collided. I had not even seen the accident occur and was suddenly upon a slower moving deer eager to get on its way. When Brian pulled over we took a brief moment to check the surroundings and drove on.

From this experience…we found ourselves searching for the lesson even within this unexpected inconvenience…and then driving on with a different consciousness sprinkled with a bit of apprehension.

Similarly, raised awareness of the culture around us plays a huge role in fostering authentic communication. Culture, in a nutshell, is how people do things in any given setting. What we aspire to do, how we may say it, and sharing of values is impactful. Relating to those around us can be challenging, peaceful, or perhaps some of both and more. How we develop and leverage our values, attitudes, and beliefs about how to learn and communicate and do life matters.

Through the pandemic of Covid -19, everyone was stretched at even greater depths to stay in communication with one another as we sought to traverse through new adventures in numerous aspects of life. Regardless of our daily environment, learning paths were challenged all around. Henry David Thoreau states, “If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.”

The season upon us consists of various commencement ceremonies, graduations, and rites of passage. Let’s make it a priority to mindfully care for ourselves and others, choosing to engage well with those around us and maintain a sense of healthy confidence embedded into strong character. While we may not see or be aware of the immediate effects, we DO impact those around us!

Currently and not so far in the distant future… you will be offered opportunity to press on, celebrate, carry forward, and INSPIRE the culture around you whether met by a DEER or not.

Will you choose to wait?
Will you opt to speculate?

Can you find calm within the chaos of the space around you?
Allowing heart and soul to mindfully and reflectively renew?

Find a fresh new way to exercise being flexible
You will find new strength to choose adaptable

Critical thinking to process through
Finding the lesson calling to YOU

Stretching forward with growing compassion
Finding engagement and healthy connection

Let us all stay culturally engaged and find our way
As we embrace others with what we do and say!

The post Changing Forward appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Covid Memoriam Tree

Mon, 01 Mar 2021 14:07:00 GMT

Covid Memoriam Tree:

As we leave February and long for spring
We feel a need to pause for one more thing

It has been a difficult season for more than a year
Many we know have shed sad tear after sad tear

In Memoriam with HOPE for tomorrow
We offer this light in the wake of sorrow

May we all find ongoing peace
Experience and embrace release

In spite of these events of absurdity
Rise above and beyond the perplexity

Let’s choose to disconnect the negative and unclasp
As we take the next step with trust and a firm grasp

Forward we proceed and glow
Allowing refined hearts to show

Find the good and light
Fill your heart with bright

Replaying the moments of benefit and good
Today and tomorrow go forth as we should

Step by step amidst uncertainties ahead
Growing steadily in joy and peace instead

Fresh HOPEful light invited to be & illuminate
Inspiring hearts of love to refresh & circulate

Impacting others with safe, good, and well
Refreshing souls with HOPE to soar and swell

The post Covid Memoriam Tree appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

In Honor of Random Acts of KINDNESS Day

Wed, 17 Feb 2021 18:17:00 GMT

In Honor of Random Acts of KIND NESS Day …TODAY…

A famous and thought provoking quote by Fred Rogers states, “There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind . The second way is to be kind . The third way is to be kind .” What a goal to strive for…being a kind learner, leader, and loyal soul who seeks to love well, embracing and encompassing all aspects of every individual. What an example of giving and offering priceless gifts, what a goal, what a connective way to embrace those around you!

Thank you Mr. Rogers for inspiring us to think of OTHERs…and to seek toward prioritizing the “IMPORTANT” in life!

What does it truly mean to be kind ?
Dig into your soul and perhaps you will find

So much to ponder and as your life you live
Offer a kind manner to all and always forgive

Endeavor to embrace kind come what may
Mindfully loving well regardless of the day

The post In Honor of Random Acts of KINDNESS Day appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Embracing & Celebrating Healthy LOVE for Valentine’s Day

Thu, 11 Feb 2021 16:34:00 GMT

Embracing & Celebrating Healthy LOVE for Valentine’s Day

With Valentine’s DAY upon us…what a FABULOUS time for a HEART check… both inside and out! Emotionally, Physically, Relationally, Family…Lasting, healthy, and deepening relationships are designed to bring out the BEST in yourself and others…How are YOU doing with this!?

Consider looking for those moments when you feel most encouraged and equipped to LOVE others…Practice does and will become PERMANENT…so check in on your HEART and seek to find health, hope, and perhaps…HAPPY!

The following is a list we found to be helpful…Hoping you will as well! Maybe some of the relationship points below can factor into your conversations and interactions this coming weekend and beyond??!

1) Comfortable pace – The relationship moves at a speed that feels enjoyable for each person. What is the general pace of your interactions with others…? Are they overly measured? Hurried or scurried? Finding just right?? Are moments of quiet reflection okay? Balance is the key…but achieving the sweet space of balance can be a challenge on numerous levels.

2) Trust – Confidence that your partner won’t do anything to hurt you or ruin the relationship.

Are your relationships built on trust? Do you act in confidence knowing and believing those around you won’t do anything to hurt you or ruin the relationship? Are YOU trustworthy? Able to be spoken to even if it is a difficult day or moment…and still exude kindness?

3) Honesty – You can be truthful and candid without fearing how the other person will respond. So…are you able to be who you are, truthful and candid, without fear of attack or security?

4) Independence – You have space to be yourself outside of the relationship.

Ponder…Do you truly function in unity even when you’re independently going about your day?

5) Respect – You value one another’s beliefs and opinions, and love one another for who you are as a person.

Do you respect and value others and their opinions? Do you accept others for who they are?

6) Equality – The relationship feels balanced and everyone puts the same effort into the success of the relationship.

How much effort do you put into being a successful relator to others, even when differences ABOUND?

7) Kindness – You are caring and empathetic to one another, and provide comfort and support. How does heartfelt kindness resonate with you? Are you caring and empathetic, willing to offer the comfort of friendship and support in a timely thoughtful manner?

8) Taking responsibility – Owning your own actions and words.

Are you willing and able to own your personality and how it transfers into actions and words? Are you mindful of how you impact others?

9) Fun – You enjoy spending time together and bring out the best in each other.

What does having FUN mean to you? When you’re with others, do enjoy building them up and looking for their personal BEST?? Are you a JOY Contributor??

10) Healthy conflict – Openly and respectfully discussing issues and confronting disagreements non-judgmentally.

When conflict does happen (and it does and WILL…) how do you openly and considerately discuss issues, disagree respectfully? Do you have a strong desire to be RIGHT? Are you open to LISTEN with control even when it is tough?

Ten signs with information has been brought to you by One Love Foundation, via Maryville University.

Wow…this is QUITE the list…the process of life can be rough and rugged to navigate for sure. However, staying on a path, seeking positivity, making mindful connections along with being intentional throughout your endeavors matters…So…whether you are at a point of feeling comfortable or sensing discomfort…GRAPPLE forward with meaning and purpose…from the HEART!

How are you going to IMPACT positively forward from your HEART?! As always…we welcome any add-ins to the conversation!

Looking through a lens finding a HEART
Offers potential and is a beautiful ART

What lens will you use to view
Your purpose in finding value

Lonely soul
Fill the hole

Search for the healing
Hope can be appealing

Be ready and ever willing to lift others up
Consider filling their proverbial heart cup

Exhibit tenderness and affection
Tenaciously developing adoration

For another soul do not relent
Lovingly stay firm and diligent

Grueling at times life may feel
Do not let up and repay any evil

Despite cautious careful emotion
Proceed in strength with devotion

Sincerely overcome with good and right
Seeking connection belonging and bright

Press on holding hope and restoration
Captivating with love and inspiration

Ongoing goals lead to rejuvenate
Mindfully succeed and captivate

Well we desire to LOVE and LIVE
Many hearts joy and hope to give!

The post Embracing & Celebrating Healthy LOVE for Valentine’s Day appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Hope for a New Year!

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 14:52:00 GMT

Help, Happy, and HOPE…always on the horizon and available!

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will”…This was stated by a Greek Philosopher named Epictetus.

Paraphrased…his quote may be reframed differently such as…IF I stop worrying and over maximizing on things and people I am unable to control…I will be more settled and happier to keep working forward…perhaps finding HOPE in the midst of all…

Epictetus also believed recognizing the will or purpose of an individual mattered immensely in defining the meaning of true education. Sometimes it is not how SMART someone is but in what ways they are SMART.

Recently we came upon some general yet meaningful statements which were connected together…Reading the list encouraged us to choose “SMARTly” as we move into and through this current season. While each phrase carries meaning, poignancy, and truth…a few resonate ever so strongly and may be a motivator as this new year of new unknowns is happening.

As you read and ponder some of the statements below, try to do so while viewing through the lens of your own self-talk…When you verbalize statements to yourself are they done so with truth? Accuracy? Are elements of love and empathy embedded into your moments of self-talk and processing? Or…are you allowing the “TO DO” list to anxiously loom and discouragement to take place of purpose?

YOU ARE STRONG … Work from your strengths. Do you TRULY BELIEVE this? From the inside out? Make a list of your strengths, what you are good at, who you are…Read the list OUT LOUD to yourself every day, maybe even while looking in the mirror!

INHALE CONFIDENCE & EXHALE DOUBT … IS this possible?? Breathe IN the GOOD of who you are and things around you…Breath OUT the NEGATIVITY. Rather than focusing on fixing what you are not made to do or be…put your energy into becoming better in what you are good at!!

MAKE YOURSELF PROUD … Keep a list of what you HAVE DONE…Perhaps saving a file of “KEEPERS” may be helpful to reference when life feels particularly difficult. You could add letters, emails, encouraging cards from others…accomplishments, promotions, etc. GO YOU!!

KEEP MOVING …Doing something is better than nothing…Healthy activity breeds HEALTHY activity. Remember, you are headed for a MORE BEAUTIFUL destination than now…Go for it!

SWEAT MORE, SHINE LATER …Put the hard work in now to accomplish desired results and be okay with delayed gratification.

DRINK MORE WATER …it’s cleansing, refreshing, and oh so healthy! Research shows brain improvements including concentration, balancing of emotions, and memory function occur more readily when well hydrated.

MORE SELF LOVE …Knowing yourself allows you to look in the mirror realistically…accepting and challenging to seek the best version of you…

TRY HARD EVERYDAY … work forward. What can you do TODAY to make tomorrow, next week, next month, next year better???

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING … “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” (Chuck Swindoll) Will you choose POSTIVITY or NEGATIVITY when reacting??

Personal goals and dreams matter…Developing yourself as a leader and learner offers you purpose to prosper emotionally and physically…and ultimately impact others. Remember to implement realistic and positive self-talk and your influence on others will grow even stronger. When issues feel uncontrollable…choose strength and purpose forward!

As always…YOU are invited to join in on the conversation!

HOPE… a FRESH NEW Horizon just may have BEGUN
What changes will you make for your YEAR of 2021…?

May you pursue JOY and deep life meaning
Discovering fresh pathways to be enduring

While you continue on in life
Functioning around any strife

With strength reach far
And find a bright STAR!

The post Hope for a New Year! appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Bells for 2020 Christmas

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 15:17:00 GMT

Recently…we found ourselves searching for “bells…” Not clanging…but ringing BELLs!!
Bells of the season…Bells of HOPE!

From a very young age and on through the years I would often hear my Dad resonate with the song of “Silver BELLs”. Many times he would share a small tidbit of a story sometimes even relating it to his time of serving our country via being drafted in the Korean War. Deep introspection and reflection of HOPE would be quietly evident in these moments. The opportunity of taking time to “LISTEN” for and “HEAR” those beautiful holiday bells seemed to touch a deep place within his soul.

Fast forwarding to shortly after his death, my Mom had Steeple Bells installed at their local neighborhood church, (where they had met some 60 plus years earlier), as a memorial to celebrate their years together. They clearly LOVED bells.

Not long ago, Brian and I attended a funeral at the same sanctuary and literally “HEARD the BELLs” what a beautiful gift of nostalgia…and HOPE!!

We seek HOPE and desire to soar to happiness…BUT HOW?? Soaking in and even speaking steadily with peace but again, HOW? In the middle of this pandemic, a story of long ago began to clang through our hearts and minds. So while we are all reflecting back on this year of pandemic… How many “personal pandemics” of others might we learn from? How many of our loved ones and perhaps even acquaintances have indeed been nearly forced to face pandemics of their own, some public, and other situations hidden from the outer world??

Blessings & Gratitude has been a true focus as we have sought to navigate this COVID filled year… But how challenging and honestly… difficult it can be at times to LIVE out positivity in daily life when the swirl of “STRUGGLES” feels overwhelming and unbearable. We ALL face issues and emotionally tsunami like seasons…some similar to one another, some we hear of and we cannot imagine…

The following piece is The True Story of Pain and Hope Behind “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day” in an excerpt written by Justin Taylor in December of 2014…

In March of 1863, 18-year-old Charles Appleton Longfellow walked out of his family’s house on Brattle Street in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and—unbeknownst to his family—boarded a train bound for Washington, D.C., traveling over 400 miles across the eastern seaboard in order to join President Lincoln’s Union army to fight in the Civil War.

Charles (b. June 9, 1844) was the oldest of six children born to Fannie Elizabeth Appleton and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, the celebrated literary critic and poet. Charles had five younger siblings: a brother (aged 17) and three sisters (ages 13, 10, 8—another one had died as an infant).

Less than two years earlier, Charles’s mother Fannie had tragically died after her dress caught on fire. Her husband, awoken from a nap, tried to extinguish the flames as best he could, first with a rug and then his own body, but she had already suffered severe burns. She died the next morning (July 10, 1861), and Henry Longfellow’s facial burns were severe enough that he was unable even to attend his own wife’s funeral. He would grow a beard to hide his burned face and at times feared that he would be sent to an asylum on account of his grief.

When Charley (as he was called) arrived in Washington D.C., he sought to enlist as a private with the 1st Massachusetts Artillery. Captain W. H. McCartney, commander of Battery A, wrote to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow for written permission for Charley to become a soldier. HWL (as his son referred to him) granted the permission.

Longfellow later wrote to his friends Charles Sumner (senator from Massachusetts), John Andrew (governor of Massachusetts), and Edward Dalton (medical inspector of the Sixth Army Corps) to lobby for his son to become an officer. But Charley had already impressed his fellow soldiers and superiors with his skills, and on March 27, 1863, he was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the 1st Massachusetts Cavalry, assigned to Company “G.”

After participating on the fringe of the Battle of Chancellorsville in Virginia (April 30-May 6, 1863), Charley fell ill with typhoid fever and was sent home to recover. He rejoined his unit on August 15, 1863, having missed the Battle of Gettysburg (July 1-3, 1863).

While dining at home on December 1, 1863, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow received a telegram that his son had been severely wounded four days earlier. On November 27, 1863, while involved in a skirmish during a battle of the Mine Run Campaign, Charley was shot through the left shoulder, with the bullet exiting under his right shoulder blade. It had traveled across his back and skimmed his spine. Charley avoided being paralyzed by less than an inch.

He was carried into New Hope Church (Orange County, Virginia) and then transported to the Rapidan River. Charley’s father and younger brother, Ernest, immediately set out for Washington, D.C., arriving on December 3. Charley arrived by train on December 5. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was alarmed when informed by the army surgeon that his son’s wound “was very serious” and that “paralysis might ensue.” Three surgeons gave a more favorable report that evening, suggesting a recovery that would require him to be “long in healing,” at least six months.

On Christmas day, 1863, Longfellow—a 57-year-old widowed father of six children, the oldest of which had been nearly paralyzed as his country fought a war against itself—wrote a poem seeking to capture the dynamic and dissonance in his own heart and the world he observes around him. He heard the Christmas bells that December day and the singing of “peace on earth” …but he observed the world of injustice and violence that seemed to mock the truthfulness of this optimistic outlook. The theme of listening recurred throughout the poem, eventually leading to a settledness of confident hope even in the midst of bleak despair.

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
“For hate is strong, And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

Yet pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men.”

Then ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

HWL, 1863

Wow! Knowing the backstory, the history, that led to the writing of the song makes it a little more relatable. Death, injury with lifelong scars, illness, war, battle wounds leading to near paralysis…and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow finally HEARD HOPE through the bells on that Christmas DAY. Can you relate?? I think we all can…not to the exact degree or the same scenario as Longfellow…but we have all dealt with disappointment, death…the unprecedented times of 2020.

Regardless of what Winter Holiday you celebrate, COVID…has changed everything! Given the surrounding chaos…will you allow the negativity to overcome you and carry you into 2021?

How about if we all take a breath…an extra breath to listen for HOPE while seeking the absolute BEST & BEAUTIFUL? This is possible…Now…ponder this…Will you?

Can you HEAR THE BELLS ON this CHRISTMAS DAY?? Will you invite them to ring and resonate you into 2021…

Are BELLs of HOPE invited to ring in your heart and soul?
Will you risk and seek fresh ways to feel secure and whole?

The post Bells for 2020 Christmas appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

5 LOVE Language Wrap up

Fri, 04 Dec 2020 16:01:00 GMT

As we head into another Holiday season or rather are already IMMERSED into another one…are you ready to practice offering your Presence versus leaving it to all kinds of meaningless Presents ??? There is no ONE SIZE FITS ALL…or a shape fitting every situation as everyone needs ALL five types of LOVE…Everyone benefits from giving and receiving ALL varieties of being loved and adored…cherished and treasured.

WORDS of affirmation folks…need to hear assuring, uplifting, and loving words often and regularly…and LOTS OF THEM!!!

TIP: Remember for WORDS of Affirmation bents…no news is not good news to these people, and empty words hurt more than they help.

Quality TIME ers will benefit from seeking to find JOY in the moments together even if they feel abbreviated…Maximize on the quality even when more quantity is hoped for.

TIP: Quality TIME can be Quality Conversations and/or Quality Activities… TIME together matters !

Acts of SERVICE is helping another practically and with a cheerful attitude! It is taking a To Do item off their list, or doing something they are not good at or perhaps struggle with.

TIP: If someone in your life is an Acts of SERVICE bent, ask for and collect a practical list of what you can do to help around the house, the office…and then stay consistent in keeping up with the list!!!

Physical TOUCH folks LOVE…a handshake, pat on the shoulder or hug from a close friend, it means the world to them…these people are DYING with how COVID has impacted touch.

TIP: For Physical TOUCH , allow the other person to coach you on what kind of touch is filling versus costing. AND always be aware of the motive touch is initiated with.

Tangible GIFTS are FUN, offer happiness, and can be very meaningful… Remember it is the thought that counts…you were thinking of THEM with the gift…

TIP: For GIFTS …Always seek to invest and give with an open hand and heart.

Keeping in mind, already some very non-traditional, masked, and socially distancing events have happened and will continue to take place this season. There is no one way street on the path of fostering, developing, and enjoying healthy relationships…there are numerous avenues and aspects to pursue. We are hopeful you have taken some nuggets away of this most recent sharing and feel more equipped to GO FOR IT in newly refreshed ways!

WHAT better time to pursue others and our view of relationships than the holidays!!?

Our capacities vary and various seasons of life offer new obstacles and challenges in regard to embracing and understanding others around us…They may even open up and refreshen your world of relating to others. Remember, implementation of the 5 Love Language approach may not be quick or natural for you personally, but is obtainable!!

TIP: Sometimes we can zero in on what someone’s top Love Languages may be by listening to their requests, desires or…at times, complaints…

BIG TIP: You will often find your top two Love Languages may differ from your significant other, best friend, siblings, etc… It is not uncommon for one to be drawn to or connect with someone who has a different Love Language priority list. On one hand this can offer balance in life and loving others, on the other hand it can cause potential conflict and loneliness…since we all tend to fall back on seeking to love others the way we feel loved. While it is a noble effort to love well, realizing someone else may resonate with being loved differently can transform relationships!

TIP: There are times you can intertwine two love languages such as: raking leaves together (Service/Time), complimenting someone while holding their hand (Words/Touch), watching a movie while snuggling on the couch (Time/Touch), maybe sharing a photo or short video clip of a GIFT being enjoyed encompassing…(Time/Service/Gifts/Words)!!

TIP: There will be life situations where someone may need more of a particular Love Language than normal or usual, and it might not even be their typical #1 or #2. Example: often the need for Touch increases when someone experiences a death.

TIP: Be aware of your blind spots…your #3, #4 and #5 Love Languages. We GUARANTEE you have people in your life with these needs…fulfilling these love needs are NOT a waste of time, they will be a stretch, but worth the investment in the relationship!!!

TIP: If TIME is your #4 Love Language, but it is your significant others #1…and they keep trying to love you with TIME …learn to accept it as a gift and as their way to deeply and personally connect with you!! Possibly… view it this way …Oftentimes, we coach young children to say “Thank You” when gifts are given, whether they were requested, anticipated, or even wanted. Results may vary but FRESH JOY has often been experienced unexpectedly!

The problem is not that we are unloved; the problem is that we have a limited view of love’s expression . We need to broaden our views. We will benefit from questing to improve our LOVESIGHT ! Let’s move forward embracing rather than overlooking the subtle, creative, unique ways love comes to us and in turn learn we are able to offer meaningful “love” in a plethora of ways.

As ALWAYS…we welcome YOUR THOUGHTs and CONVERSATION!!

Express desire versus demand
Connections do not command

Allow heart, mind, and soul to unify
With loved ones seek peace and apply

Quest to live and love well
Mindfully your story to tell

Whatever WORDS you choose to say
Thoughtfully lift a heart come what may

Will you take TIME to extend beyond schedules and yourself
SERVING in relationships offering more than your back shelf?

GIFTS and TOUCH are powerful and can be a detriment
Thoughtfully and wisely consider when you implement

Working in tandem is the key
For balancing out you and me

Aspire to be an authentic version of YOU
Find wholeness and health in all you DO

WORDS or SERVICE , TOUCH , TIME , and tangible GIFTS
Offer practical happy ways to give hearts surges of lifts

We all need love and concern and care
How will you communicate and share?

Thoughtfully lift a soul come what may
Seeking to show your love in many a way!

The post 5 LOVE Language Wrap up appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

5 Love Languages TOUCH & GIFTS

Fri, 20 Nov 2020 14:54:00 GMT

How is the Love Language Journey going for you…WORDS, TIME, SERVICE…are you starting to recognize these in everyday life situations and interactions?

Viewing requests for SERVICE help with things such as dishes, laundry, or maybe the huge work project differently ??

Hearing the comment “why don’t you spend more TIME with me??”, in a different light ?

Picking up on the sparkle in someone’s eyes when a simple compliment is given with a true and affirming WORD??

As mentioned before, it is best to focus in on the top 2 LOVE Languages of ourselves and others. If your significant other has the need for TIME and WORDS…do you think your doing the dishes and vacuuming around the house is going to hit the homerun you are hoping for?? While those are noble and needful tasks…prioritizing on their top two, allows your energy and focus to increase optimum benefit for all involved!!

BIG TIP: You will often find your top two Love Languages may differ from your significant others, best friend, siblings, etc… It is not uncommon for one to be drawn to or connect with someone who has a different Love Language priority list. On one hand this can offer balance in life and loving others, on the other hand it can cause potential conflict and loneliness…since we all tend to fall back on seeking to love others the way we feel loved. While it is a noble effort to love well, realizing someone else may resonate with being loved differently can change relationships!

This is why a SERVICE person may not have the capacity to fully understand how someone can question their love for them when they are trying to help accomplish a NEVER ENDING to do list of things for someone…while the other party only longs to have their significant other just sit down with them (TIME) to watch the news, work on a puzzle together, or simply just “BE”. The SERVICE person feels like sitting is a waste of time…the TIME person could care less that the kitchen counter will have been wiped down for the 20 ^th time today…both totally missing each other in speaking different Love Languages.

NOW …Not to complicate the matter…BUT…let’s add the final two Love Languages Drs. Chapman and Trent highlight in their work… TOUCH and GIFTS .

#4 Physical Touch: A POWERFUL tool of sharing love…touching is natural…however we must be ever mindful of appropriate touch.

Physical Touch can demonstrate a sense of trust, connectedness, affirmation and caring…unfortunately, it can also demonstrate mistrust, detachment, danger, anger, and cruelty. Touch is misinterpreted very easily so beware! This looks different in dating, marriage, amongst friends, in the classroom, workplace or home…and NOW …especially in 2020 through the lens of COVID.

People with the Love Language of Touch are DYING with COVID…there is little to no space outside immediate homesteads to hug our best buddies, shake hands with colleagues, gather in close to chat or read, share a familiar old fashioned HIGH 5, or receive a pat on the shoulder of encouragement…just to acknowledge a physical presence and caring seems so far gone…HELP!!!!

Recently, we attended a funeral service where we saw the owner of the funeral home who is a long time family friend. He, thankfully, gave me, (Brian), a HUGE BEAR HUG at which point I told him “I may be stopping by once a week for a weekly hug”… just kidding …but not really. Through this pandemic, several clients have asked for a hand shake even during COVID because they miss the PHYSICAL powerful connection of their Love Language…TOUCH!

TIP: Allow the other person to be your coach on what kind of touch is filling versus costing. AND always be aware of the motive touch is initiated with.

#5 Receiving Gifts: Gifts are visual symbols of love and they are shared in every culture…we share gifts at birthdays, holidays, special events and at times… JUST BECAUSE…To the person who has this as one of their top resonating languages…the smallest of gifts mean a LOT. Have you heard of the phrase, “It’s the thought that counts?!” For these people it RINGS ever so TRUE! AND they LOVE the STUFF too!

A relative of ours LOVES getting and giving gifts…enjoys being handed the package and unwrapping it with anticipation…he also loves wrapping gifts with anticipation of how it will make the other person feel when they open it. The smallest of gifts bring this gift set pure joy…

Small thoughtful goodies like a favorite coffee drink, candy, or perhaps it’s a long awaited purchase someone has put extra funds or money aside and saved for, really connect in with this LOVE Language. We all need to remember, the giving of gifts should never be used as a substitute, payment, or a bribe. If you are a saver and have a “GIFTs” person in your life, consider purchases an investment in the relationship. Making someone “pay” for it by notating the cost or process to purchase over and over negates the good act of a wonderful gift.

Giving and offering the GIFT of a kind and honest SELF is paramount in this arena and the elements of true commitment, depth of character, and sincere friendship matter.

TIP: Always seek to invest and give with an open hand and heart.

So…figure yours out…figure your LOVED ones out…and pay it forward!!! Try not to leave others to “figure” yours out…they may need help so be open, aware, and HELPFUL…having necessary conversations…and of course as always…feel free to add your thoughts and perspectives here!

Express desire versus demand
Connections do not command

Allow heart, mind, and soul to unify
With loved ones seek peace and apply

Quest to live and love well
Mindfully your story to tell

Whatever WORDS you choose to say
Thoughtfully lift a heart come what may

Will you take TIME to extend beyond schedules and yourself
SERVING in relationships offering more than your back shelf?

GIFTS and TOUCH are powerful, but can be a detriment
Thoughtfully and wisely consider when you implement

The post 5 Love Languages TOUCH & GIFTS appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

5 Love Languages TIME & SERVICE

Wed, 11 Nov 2020 14:26:00 GMT

Have you found yourself hearing WORDS of AFFIRMATION in your conversations since the last post?

Have you sought to give more compliments, appreciation and encouraging words to others?

Perhaps you have noticed being the recipient of more endearing words??

Are kind and humble words more detectible to you these days?

Maybe the gift of WORDS rises as one of your top two Love Languages, or resonates with you regarding a relationship you have. Are you still working on putting the puzzle pieces together?

TIP: Sometimes we can zero in on what someone’s top Love Languages may be by listening to their requests, desires or… at times, complaints…

We don’t seem to talk any more…even when we have the opportunity…you are so quiet…

Why don’t we spend more time together?

I feel you never help me around the house, or with the kids…we used to do these activities together…

As we go forward with this 5 LOVE Language concept…we are going to focus on the one thing we ALL NEED MORE of…and it is TIME!!! Additionally, we will explore how SERVICE can be a loving force for many…We will then continue to work on the concepts of these two aspects as well as what we have learned about the gift of WORDS priorly…

Some natural bents not only desire TIME, their inner beings cry for it…

#2 Quality Time: This one can be a TOUGH delivery…WE are all so pressed for it…this is a challenge to carry out consistently, yet it’s DO-able!!

Quality Time is giving someone your undivided attention. The key element here is not proximity but personal attention!! This can look like Quality Conversation…which can be confused with Words of Affirmation at times. The difference is…Quality Conversation focuses on what is being heard and the time of shared experience, versus Words of Affirmation focuses on what is being spoken . Quality Time can also be Quality Activities…spending time doing something that is important to the other person.

Taking a moment (opportunities) to stop and listen and look over something someone is excited about matters and builds heartily into their “tank”, taking a photo of or asking questions about the process, expressing genuine interest in why and how, even raking leaves together or other home projects…simply hanging together for a common purpose or cause.

This looks like:

#4 Acts of Service: This is one that can fall naturally into daily routine…

Acts of Service express a sincere desire to help another in a practical way, with a cheerful attitude, not in a begrudgingly manner. It is doing something for a loved one or coworker, being helpful to them by taking a task off of their to do list, or accomplishing a task or fixing something they cannot do themselves.

Service is planning or rising to the occasion to help someone else in a productive needful manner.

This looks like:

TIP: if you have this Love Language, or someone in your life does…obtain a practical list of what you or they can do to help around the house, the office…which will be helpful for you!!! Often one will do a task thinking it is helpful for their spouse such as do a load of laundry, when they secretly were hoping you would vacuum instead. Demystify what is helpful by asking or requesting!!!

There are times where two Love Languages could be merged at the same time. Example… this past weekend we had leaves to pick up in our yard…yes everyone in Kirkwood has to clean leaves during the Fall. We were in the yard together enjoying the beautiful weather, the time together and getting something done which needed to be done…three times, yes three times in one weekend as they were falling fast and furious. See how this was Quality Time and Service all at once…??

Express desire versus demand
Connections do not command

Allow heart, mind, and soul to unify
With loved ones seek peace and apply

Quest to live and love well
Mindfully your story to tell

Whatever WORDS you choose to say
Thoughtfully lift a heart come what may

Will you take TIME to extend beyond schedules and yourself
SERVING in relationships offering more than your back shelf?

The post 5 Love Languages TIME & SERVICE appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

5 Love Languages WORDS

Fri, 06 Nov 2020 15:47:00 GMT

Grappling forward in relationships happens…but it is the HOW we grapple that matters most.

As we continue forward in this relationship series on the 5 Love Languages… Remember, we all need to be loved in all 5 ways but inevitably, there will be a couple that resonate stronger and deeper than the others.

Knowing ourselves and maintaining awareness of our own preferences of expressed love first and then as we reach out to others, we are better equipped to be loved and love forward. Discovering your own top 2 “languages”, as well as understanding those around you matters.

Security in realizing who we are and how we function best in the realm of loving and being loved is paramount to relationships. It holds power to lead us forward in loving others around us well.

This piece will focus on #1 Words of Affirmation:

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH…do you ever hear words, reports, newsfeeds, significant others going on and on and on and on and on??? Are the words too much for you at times?? There are some wirings and natural bents who not only need words…but feel near breaking point when they are not offered a solid and consistent array of words…

More than a quick shrug or nod…these people need to be pumped up with words…however…artificial or going through the motion words will not work either, making the offering of the gift of words complicated at times.

Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” This statement is especially true to the person whose love language is WORDS of Affirmation. They live and blossom by loving words but they also die quickly when they are not receiving affirming words or when they are hearing ugly and degrading words.

Lyrics from a simple song I learned in middle school resonate strongly even to this day when I look toward words and how we use or gift them…for better or worse. “ The tongue…the tongue…the trouble is my tongue…it keeps me talking double and it gets me deep in trouble…the tongue the tongue…the TROUBLE is my tongue.”

It is vital for this love language to hear affirming, uplifting, and loving words often and REGULARLY.

This looks like:

“YOU look FABULOUS!”

“Your insight is very helpful.”

“The dinner was fabulous, especially the chicken dish, so moist.”

“Woo Hoo! The work you did on this project, wow…Thank YOU!”

Be sure these words are empathetic and caring, use eye contact.

“Your part in this endeavor made all the difference, we needed your input.”

BE TRUTHFUL

True and personal words matter in the home, at the store, one-on-one, in a group…when we are frustrated, when we are happy…

True we need to make excellent choices, but where does your main energy focus? How do you aspire to love well?

Prioritizing the IMPORTANT??

We all need to love and be loved in a variety of ways…however, there are natural ways certain personalities and wirings will gravitate toward needing and desiring…

Take the KIND WORD challenge and try to begin noticing which of those people around you NEED to be LIFTED up by your TRUE words of encouragement…

Express desire versus demand
Connections do not command

Allow heart, mind, and soul to unify
With loved ones seek peace and apply

Quest to live and love well
Mindfully your story to tell

Whatever WORDS you choose to say
Thoughtfully lift a heart come what may

The post 5 Love Languages WORDS appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Relationship TANKs!

Wed, 28 Oct 2020 13:43:00 GMT

Relationship TANKs!

Available at our fingertips is a plethora of relationship material. Filled with “how to’s” on navigating this journey we call life…we are hopeful to share some of our TOP take-aways from all of the grappling of situations and scenarios we’ve lived through, sought to lead others through, and most importantly continue learning through as life unfolds continually…

Navigating relational situations with strength is a priority. And while this goal is admirable, the fact is, relating healthily and well does not feel do-able all of the time. Personalities crash into each other, opinions collide, points are sought to be made , we feel clunky, we wobble…we EXPLODE!! At times we pummel from point to point and then there is a “tipping point” when situations have the potential to derail quickly…

Even on the best of days…when perhaps extra effort and intention is put forward by one… There is a chance it is not received as anticipated by another…dashed expectations turn to quick and lasting disappointments and then before long… YIKES …we look at the other or perhaps inside our own heart and feel…WOW…how did this happen? How did we get to this point?

We ALL as humans have the desire and the need to LOVE and be LOVED. It is something we have needed since we were children and we will never “outgrow”. Regardless of age or stage, it feels good to love someone and even better to be loved and accepted for who you are by another person.

The following is a simple and healthy positive application for healthy relationship building. This is based on the work of Dr. Gary Chapman and his 5 Love Language concept. We have found this lens for which to view relationships practical and applicable with significant others, siblings, children, students, clients, peers, coworkers, vendors, supervisors, managers, and truly ANY human being you interact with.

Chapman offers an illustration he calls the “LOVE TANK” To get somewhere in our cars…we have to have enough gas to reach that destination. If we run out, we will not reach the place we are trying to get to. It is the same way with how we feel loved. We make deposits into others’ accounts when we speak to them in their love language…their tank is filled. What we need to stay cautious and aware of is that when we stop making deposits the “gas” or LOVE runs low. WITHDRAWS which could be framed as interactions or actions leave another feeling drained, sad, or forgotten. Examples of withdraws from the tank may include demeaning words, deliberate ignoring, empty broken promises large or small, leaving conflicts unresolved, etc… We need to be aware of and know and seek to speak the love language of others so that we can help them feel loved and accepted for who they are.

So…the question remains…Where from here?

That’s correct…Start now and here…but how? Where?

As we grapple with this concept…remember to press pause as needed and consider adding an extra few moments to ponder…How can I love well and extend beyond my own list of WANTs…

Express desire versus demand
Connections do not command

Allow heart, mind, and soul to unify
With loved ones seek peace & apply

Quest to live and love well
Mindfully your story to tell

The post Relationship TANKs! appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Relationships…How are YOU Walking

Mon, 19 Oct 2020 14:03:00 GMT

Relationships…How are YOU Walking??

We are well into Fall 2020…More unexpected has inevitably happened, the continuation of our unprecedented or shall we say extraordinary times marches forward…

This unique season of life circled by a pandemic with continued and cautious reopening of places and activities, an upcoming election, along with regular life issues and scenarios assures us of one truth…life is unpredictable.

As time carries on and we seek to put one foot in front of the other and keep things together…How are you coping? Are you walking well? At times this has been framed as “trusting the current process to unfold” or doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do.

Our actions are heard and noticed whether we are aware or not…A question comes to mind about relating to others…Please take a brief pause to ponder… What is the single most impactful way to do life, nurture relationships, and connect appropriately with those around us??

This series will continue to share writings offering ideas of implementation into relationships of all types. Are you able to imagine self-alignment and productivity within and throughout your relationships? Mark Twain challenged us to view whatever we look at in life to influence our next steps stating, “You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

As you know, my husband Brian is a therapist and shares a passion of refining relational endeavors…Be encouraged as the next excerpt is a concept he readily adapts to a myriad of situations in his personal life and practice.

Have you ever thought about the significance of looking at your feet? Why would anyone want to look at their feet? Maybe it is a way to remember where you are… WHAT?!?!?! Perhaps it is a way to be mindfully present in the here and now. A reminder to stop focusing on the past and stop over-worrying about the future. When we immerse into the past or the future too much, we forget where we are…the here and now. Being present with our presence. See Pic #1

When we linger in the past we are prone to get depressed…filled with shame and regret. We go through all of the “what if’s”. “Woulda Coulda Shoulda” thinking just leads to sadness and ruminating thoughts of negativity. This is actually NOT a good way to process through the past…NOT accurate. It is more like a cow chewing it’s cud…re-living the negative over and over and over again…leading to MORE negativity. It is true we can learn from the past for today and going forward…the ultimate GOAL… too many find themselves rolling in the negative slop in their minds like a pig on a hot summer day… See Pic #2

Looking to the future and over conceptualizing leads to being anxious. The fear of the unknown. Running through our mind are the million versions of what may happen, what could happen and we typically land on the most negative options in these moments forgetting solid positive options…why? When looking at the whole picture of evidence, many of the negative versions rarely happen. So why do we keep circling back to the negative forecasting of dreariness and clouds regarding career, life, and relationships? See Pic #3

We usually put 95% of our energy toward the past or future…some focus on the past more, others more on the future…many focus on a combination of both past and future leaving the present moment out. Placing about 95% of our thoughtful efforts into what we CANNOT change, the PAST and FUTURE is not a helpful or hopeful place to land. When we do this we often end up distorting the truth about what is going on in the here and now…negatively impacting memories of the past or hope of future outcomes. Using the lens of the past/future to interpret the here and now…leaves us confused and empty. See Pic #4

What would happen if we put that 95% of our energy toward NOW?!?!?!?!? This could be a step in the right direction for a healthy impact in positive and lasting change. When you find yourself trapped to the past or freaking out about the future, or possibly both…remember to mindfully LOOK AT YOUR FEET! See Pic #5

God Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I CANNOT change, the courage to change the things I CAN, and the wisdom to know the difference.

What can you do NOW, TODAY to make a difference in your life or someone around you??? Go for it!

For self and others advocate
A truer heart you will locate

Mindfully do your BEST
When put to life’s test

Of being, loving, and living well
While your story walks on to tell

Moving forward
Energize onward

Is it possible to walk, love, embrace, and live well on this journey? I want to answer with a RESOUNDING YES !!! Will you do the same? Feel free to join the discussion!

The post Relationships…How are YOU Walking appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Relationships

Tue, 29 Sep 2020 13:44:00 GMT

Relationships …Any view you choose to use…they can be both exhilarating and frustrating simultaneously…can’t they? Do they need to be?

Whether casual, familial, or a deliberate and chosen preference, healthy and fulfilling relationships take commitment, strength, intuition, imagination, connection, like, love, kindness, friendship, respect, learning, passion, diligence…and the list goes on and on and on…

He MARRIED both of them!!

As we have watched their life story unfold and witnessed the continuance of their adventure…wow! Another HUGE reminder of the moments in life we are drawn to press PAUSE

seeking to be present in the moment while evaluating our own journey.

In the next few posts we will explore practical and mindful ideas and thoughts regarding the process of nurturing the relationships we are in or will inevitably encounter.

Please implement caution and BEWARE
It can really be a JUNGLE way out there!

Kindness respect and positivity
Relationships demand energy

While we may always desire to smile and reach forward
There are moments we feel too weak in growing onward

Will you renew, support, and walk with me
Loving, hoping, imagining extravagantly?

You plus me
It is our WE

Let’s do the journey and stay on the course
With a complete heart as our energy source

Life can definitely feel like a ZOO…
On your path find Adventure to pursue!

As always…feel free and welcome to join in on this conversation…be sure to check out FB for more pictures!

The post Relationships appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Wrapping Up Mind Body and Soul

Tue, 08 Sep 2020 14:25:00 GMT

Days are quickly becoming shorter and evening is weaving its way in earlier and earlier recently.

A quote by Lao Tzu is currently resonating especially strong …

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future, if you are at peace, you are living in the present.”

Our summer days are fading away…However…we have hope for peace!

Fall brings refreshment, a sense of new beginnings…this gradual change of the season time offers promise to propel and opportunity to renew and challenge us forward…

How will you continue to maximize moments of mindful outdoor fresh air therapy …?

This writing piece has been completed while taking in these last few days of summer filled with warm sunshine and breeze…ahhh so revitalizing!

Yet…we still have much to mindfully ponder… How are we to find purpose in the process of refreshing when the weather or perhaps the emotional climate we are immersed in doesn’t lend itself to that?? The continuing impact of COVID-19 threatens to invade another season. Adjustments, pivots, and differentiation of how activities are carried forth is a remaining factor and reality for us all.

As we anticipate the change of season, ( September 22 ^nd is the official first day of FALL with the actual start time of 9:31 a.m. ET ), Let’s take a look at the word VISIT …Within the word we see a couple of smaller words, one of them is… SIT . SIT is not something we may readily think of doing when we have opportunity to VISIT with someone…Perhaps a small take away is to maximize moments of viSITing with loved ones and even if physical distancing is prevailing, try to take a few moments to SIT for a viSIT ! Brighten someone else’s current circumstance and perhaps your own!

Regardless of the time, weather, season, or climate… How will you seek to mindfully be present with your presence? Will you intentionally seek to grow through whatever scenario or situation “ IT ” is you are “ visiting ” through? Whatever IT is… SIT down for a VISIT and strengthen yourself and others! Does the season change challenge you? Motivate you?

Challenge brings change
A chance to rearrange…

Find reason and purpose for your heart mind and soul
Taking care of your complete self, helping it feel whole

Seeking to find a fresh new voice
Managing again to make a choice

Situations will impact your perspective
Choose to look up make this elective

Mindfully connect eye to eye, heart to heart
Stay strong and brave, and seek to take part

Energize yourself and another with a viSIT
Vitalize your being as you connect and SIT

Look to apply all you know
As you work learn and grow

So really…How are YOU? Join the conversation and feel free to share your thoughts!

The post Wrapping Up Mind Body and Soul appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Sometimes we need a “RESET” for body mind and SOUL…

Tue, 25 Aug 2020 14:27:00 GMT

“Happiness is a butterfly which when pursued is just out of grasp. But if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” Nathaniel Hawthorne, American Novelist was quoted as saying this.

So many life lessons can erupt from his viewpoint. Are there moments you feel like you have landed to an understanding only to have your grasp on the matter confused or changed? Are you then able to quiet your soul and perhaps experience the next ray of light, understanding or “landing”?

Looking for a desired outcome so oftentimes takes over the necessity of experiencing the grace of the moment. A familiar tune from the beloved Beatles classic song ” Let it be …” has been a recent point of conversation for my husband Brian and I. We have intentionally invited the theme to resonate and sing through our minds as we soulfully look inward and truly try to let all be . While anticipating the good and waiting for it to come, are you able to purpose on in letting it be . Fun fact, the Beatles chose to first record this song with no dubbing intended. They were seeking to let the truth of their message ring out in the most natural way possible, by only doing one take in an effort to ” Let it be …” . Do we at times try to dub over situations before they even evolve? Let us reach past the brokenness and perceptions around us and let all of the “stuff” just be.

Turning inwardly to nurture our souls in this manner equips us to reach forward and impact others throughout Covid, virtual meetings/school/gatherings, and way BEYOND…!

One take away continues to refashion itself in our homes and lives currently and I wonder if this is the case for you as well… How do we LET the COVID SITUATION just BE?? Are we able to breathe differently and look for the benefits??

Here’s to hoping you have found refreshed ways to spread your wings while you fly differently, flutter intentionally and focus on others really well…Grow through whatever it is you are going through…are you willing? Find gratitude for even the smallest of moments, experiences, or things in your life.

Habitually reflecting on the components of validating current emotions, formulating those thoughts, and then finding a way of articulating them into forward movement helps us to recalibrate, prioritize, and focus on the true meaning and experiences of life…How are YOU?

Are you holding strong in your heart and mind?
As what we are in the midst of threatens to bind

Wise soul
Be whole

First be self-aware
Then for others care

Soulfully try to recalibrate
Welcome JOY to dominate

Important matters and souls MATTER
Prioritize well and GOOD will scatter

Freedom for your inner soul
Will help to fill another hole

Dig deep to love and encourage
You will surely find more courage

Self and others and on and on
Find your grace and pass it on

A situation may feel palpable
Remind yourself you’re capable

GROW THROUGH what you GO THRU…
Dig deep to be the BEST version of YOU

So…the question lingers…Are you soulfully aware and ready to nurture another and another and another soul? Pay it forward…!

As you consider this idea, feel free to add your thoughts, takeaways and ideas!

Self-Care Ideas for the Soul

The post Sometimes we need a “RESET” for body mind and SOUL… appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Unprecedented Times: Self-Care for the BODY

Mon, 27 Jul 2020 15:04:00 GMT

As we continue through the chaos of this pandemic and ponder what the next steps will be, how long activities will stay open…Let’s look at ways we can maintain being physically active as we perhaps; Struggle, Strive, Stretch, and Strengthen from the inside to the outside ultimately impacting self and those around us.

Staying positively busy is vital and necessary to keep care of one’s body. Is balancing this a struggle for you or someone you know? For some yes, others not so much. If so, how will you strive and push through by strengthening and stretching ?

A memory of my late mother, Mary Lou comes to mind. She was by nature, always primarily sedentary physically. Even when sitting amidst action and activities, she loved verbally interacting with others and frequently found opportunities to share her “opinion”. My husband and I tend to be very active even on a slow day. To this day we often laugh family wide at a statement my Mom made about Brian one time.

Mom had just been teetering with dementia and he and I were scurrying around taking care of things for her travel. As she aged, the responsibilities on our end became greater to prepare her for visits with extended family. She quickly became “stuck” on the highlight reel of… “He is SUCH a BUSY BODY!!” And she meant he is always up and going and seeking to fix, to help, perhaps striving to pull many aspects of the need at hand together. She traveled to my sister’s house saying it several times and just like that and still to this day…Brian is known as the family “BUSY BODY”…! This is saying a lot given we have a marathon biker in the family and tons of other energy.

Lesson here??? BE BUSY, stay up and going…and look to make something happen! Another aspect…find the balance…but stay BUSY with your BODY as much as it allows, finding your full strength and potential.

Even when confined or limited to quieter activities…such as needing to work and school from home … find and integrate movement the best you are able!!

An evident and very real struggle for people of all ages has come to mind throughout this season of COVID-19. Simple and quick handshakes or friendly endearing hugs are non-existent in most public venues. Perhaps, you have noticed yourself reaching out, striving to connect and nearly offended someone before catching yourself.

Another physical inhibition entailing a struggle and stretch …the wearing of MASKs!!

Have the masks found you feeling inhibited with your communication? Brian and I are constantly mentioning to each other lately…We feel like we cannot see, breathe, hear, or understand with our masks on…yikes!! While eyes are and can be communicative…it has been interesting to experience this real-life reminder of just how dependent we are on the various components of our body for communication.

While this topic brings more questions than answers…perhaps the list below will spark your thoughts and lead you to revisit something classic or discover a refreshed approach to caring for your body.

Self-Care Ideas for the Body

As we take care of the essential
May we discover extra potential

Struggle and strive to ignite and energize
Stretch and strengthen as you reprioritize

Authentically align your awareness to go
From there your energy will surely flow

As you mindfully consider your physical BODY
Look to uncover your own inner BUSY BODY!

So…the question lingers…Are you ready to find your version of being a balanced BUSY BODY??!

As you consider your position, feel free to add your thoughts, takeaways and ideas!

The post Unprecedented Times: Self-Care for the BODY appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Unprecedented Times: Self-Care for the MIND

Wed, 15 Jul 2020 13:53:00 GMT

As unprecedented times continue…we must seek to activate and cultivate our minds. Unknowns remain all around us. Our minds and beings are wired to engage in efforts to take control of the situations at hand in an attempt to bring about certain desired results and hopes. This will cause our thoughts to hone in on the problem like a ravenous animal and possibly lead us to try and formulate things in our own way. This effort may feel like an immediate remedy or relief, but if we slow down and seek for ways to know, develop, and grow ourselves, it may positively impact us and those around us for ongoing good.

Perhaps you will consider embarking on a new reading project as well as enjoying texts familiar to you. I believe in a steady diet of story and reading for every age and stage of life…It is as important and vital as food and nutrition to your body. VITAMINS for your BRAIN and MIND.

Recently, my husband Brian and I had our 4 ½ year old great niece for a weeklong “vacay stay” at our house. On her final evening with us…she asked with anticipation and enthusiasm… “What MOVIE are you going to read to me tonight??!” Of course, we found several fun stories to complete our evening!

Find something to READ and consider trying one or more of the ideas below to grow your mind mindfully!

Self-Care Ideas for the Mind

Firm your focus and displace fear
Allow your heart and mind to hear

From the courage you hold deep in your soul
Cultivate and grow and establish another goal

Flexibly adjusting your fixed addendum
Living forward finding fresh momentum

To every heart soul and mind
Find beautiful ways to be kind

So…the question lingers…Are you MIND FULL or Mindful…?

As you consider your position, feel free to add your thoughts, takeaways and ideas!

The post Unprecedented Times: Self-Care for the MIND appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Unprecedented Times Continue

Tue, 23 Jun 2020 15:16:00 GMT

Wow…”unprecedented times” this feels so overstated yet so accurate and unpredictable at the same time. And the season continues… we plunge into SUMMERTIME…

How will you take a summer break?? Or will you…? Are you able to relax and unwind?? Or are you feeling even more wound up in anticipation of what may or may not be??

Do your best to find moments of rest, relaxing, and rejuvenation in a healthy manner. Think about starting a new book, blog, podcast or article search. Refreshing your mind can offer a new perspective!

Sometimes I find myself wondering…Is it the adverse events making me anxious or my THOUGHTs about those events? As these thoughts and scenarios swoop in like a hungry hawk…and threaten to overtake, what can we do?

The anxiety issues of COVID-19 swirl around us and feel overwhelming. Are we safe returning to work, restaurants, coffee shops, parks…etc? Will there be a rebound?? If so, when? What will school look like in the fall…will homeschooling happen again? Many questions are rising and recycling through our minds… Grappling through this time will impact everyone differently…and it is inevitable.

Racial tensions leading to protests…even civil unrest, riots and looting… So many questions…concerns…people may be fearful to say anything or to say nothing at all…how do we have these conversations and not offend, as we strive toward lasting peaceful solutions?

This current reality is directly affecting everyone…yet what we do with situations whether predictable or not and how we purpose to mindfully learn and go through them matters…

Acceptance and understanding of your own worry, anxiety, anger, fear…and then compiling with emotions of others around you as you seek to merge with the new normal of life feels disruptive at best…and honestly chaotic.

Speaking of chaos…at the time of readying to post this blog, my husband Brian and I were out on a walk…Our COVID-19 ritual to end the evening with movement continues… The threat of a storm at the moment had seemingly passed…(you know what’s coming…)…Clouds on the horizon but not near….Less than 5 minutes prior we had passed a family with children giggling as they splashed in the residual puddles from earlier…And the thunder rolled in…the rain came…not a drip drop a complete DOWN POUR a good half mile from home… On one hand cleansing… on the other hand chaotic…what were we to do…?? We had to keep moving…one foot in front of the other, attitude mattered, spirits strengthened…while mindfully accepting our plight… made it home…! Unprecedented? Unpredictable? UNBELIEVABLE…? Perhaps!

So…the deepest and most authentic question for life currently may be…
Is your MIND FULL, or are you MINDFUL?

When the unpredictable and unprecedented moments threaten to overtake your being…
Here is a small list of reminders offering a quick way to cope: Validate, Formulate, Articulate

Validate emotions – Allow yourself to feel and process. If you are having a tough time figuring out how you feel, or you keep using the same emotion (such as anger, sad, or frustrated), Google “Emotion List”, and read through some different lists to expand your emotional understanding of yourself and where you are…

Formulate thoughts – Take a few moments to gather your thoughts, maybe even write them down. (BREATHE) Writing out ones thoughts can lead to clarity, connectivity with where the thoughts come from, why we have them, believe them, may be holding onto them…?

Articulate plans to move forward – After collecting your thoughts consider a plan to cope. Ponder what this looks like for you and plan some small steps to quest forward. Throughout the summer, the next three blogs will come alongside you offering practical ways for you to design a personal plan to help you maintain… Self-Care for the MIND, BODY and SOUL is often spoken of, considered for brief moments here and there, and then just as quickly laid aside…

Purpose not to entertain fret and worry
Vulnerably settle when prone to scurry

Intentionally drop and leave negative
Purpose to focus into and on positive

Unprecedented times may linger
Invite them to make you stronger

Renew thoughts and refresh your mind
To your heart and soul seek to be kind

Looking so forward to the ongoing participation as we cultivate ourselves and those around us!

The post Unprecedented Times Continue appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Social Distance, or Physical Distance? Let’s Keep Building Grit & Resilience

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 14:33:00 GMT

Social distance… or physical distance?
Let’s keep building grit and resilience

In a meeting the other day
A colleague put it this way

So I began to think seek and ponder toward
How we should not stifle but grow forward

What does this look like in the scope of bringing normalcy to life?
Let’s make our goal to spread joy peace and love amidst the strife…

May we find creative ways to exude intentional presence
And see how we offer those around us priceless presents

Be inspired to lead and innovate
And find new paths to invigorate

Share your story as it is worth a tell
We may discover a sense of parallel

Some elements of a purge
May offer a way to merge

As we all find a fresh pure align
May our heart enjoy a redesign!

SO…In regard to this pandemic…Is it Social Distance or in the truest sense… Physical Distance??!

Let’s aim to stay well distanced PHYSICALLY
As we seek to remain connected SOCIALLY!!

A prime example of PHYSICAL DISTANCING with a mindful Social Connection…

A heart warmer
TRUE soul lifter

A former student’s video share blessed my heart
Enjoy every second of it …don’t miss one part!!

How are you seeking to recapture life during this COVID-19 time?
Are there specific elements you have found that feel oddly sublime?

Feel free to add to the discussion and share your take-aways and ideas!

Be sure to see the video upload on my Facebook page!! https://www.facebook.com/lovinglifelonglearning/

The post Social Distance, or Physical Distance? Let’s Keep Building Grit & Resilience appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

COVID-19

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 15:55:00 GMT

And …the journey of COVID-19 continues…As we seek to settle into whatever the “new normal” is suggesting…how are YOU processing THROUGH? Running through my mind over and over right now is the phrase…”WHO KNEW?!?!?!” Is this uninvited season of introspection settling into your routine or are you struggling to navigate your path? …Perhaps we are all experiencing a little of both extremes as we seek to find our balance.

While our schedules feel more flexible than ever, are they more than full ?

We may find ourselves wondering if this worldwide crisis will ever be truly over ?

This pandemic has been unsettling at best , yet has thrust all of us into a variety of situations, some of which may threaten negativity, maybe others are welcome and worth the embrace…

So…while the Starbucks schedule is unpredictable, dining at a local favorite restaurant feels unimaginable, there is no current quest for the Stanley Cup, baseball season is on hold, and the products we are accustomed to purchasing are limited and even Amazon Prime is now on back order…we are stretched to find positivity!

Have you found more worth in spending time with those you love and value most?

Just last week I was invited to a social distancing drive by birthday celebration for Margaret and Jennifer, HAPPY 21!!! Additionally, I received an invitation to submit a social distancing birthday video, HAPPY 21 ^st Joseph!!! How creative…LOVED the energy, and … I taught all three of these kiddos in Kindergarten.

Are you able to focus on appreciation of what we do have?

The shining sun, budding trees, fresh air, and in some ways a throwback for sweet small experiences. Stay strong and live forward with newfound depth and strength!

Words I keep thinking…”Who KNEW”
All we would continue to go through?

This virus was uninvited
However it has invaded

Will we allow this season to stretch our soul
Inviting the coronavirus to help us fill a hole

Mindfully appreciate this novel pace
Seeking to probe and find fresh grace

Does having social distance
Bring you any resistance?

Seek to focus toward the positive
Intentionally let go of all negative

Rather than wistful
Let’s choose grateful!

As ALWAYS…feel free to add into the conversation started here…your input is welcome!

The post COVID-19 appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Edgar A. Guest – When Things Go Wrong

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 13:50:00 GMT

Success is Failure Turned Inside Out…

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low but the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit…
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit!

Life is strange with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many failures turn about
When we might have won had we stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow…
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out…
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

(Edgar A. Guest, March 3, 1921 )

Inspired by this poem…WOW! How timeless the struggles of life can be…

How are YOU making the most of this?

Are you reconnecting well?

Staying connected to the important needs and people at hand??

Do you believe you can DO HARD THINGS??!

Kathleen Bauer, Ed D

The post Edgar A. Guest – When Things Go Wrong appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Staying Connected Within the Realm of LIFE as it is NOW!!

Mon, 23 Mar 2020 13:46:00 GMT

Synchronizing Social Distancing and Connecting

Aligning and redefining how to stay socially connected while appropriately and respectfully social distancing has recently been prioritized worldwide.

How did we get to TODAY?

Even a month ago, could we imagine where we are right now?

Unfortunately, this recent phenomenon of social distancing has led many to feelings of isolation, loneliness, fearfulness, paranoia, and panic.

Keeping connectivity alive within the realm of LIFE as it is happening and unfolding…we are challenged to stay in communication with one another as we navigate this adventure of whatever the “new normal” of the day or moment may be …

How are you dealing with the changes we have been whisked into? Have you been thrust into negativity? Are you going with it? Any chance you are feeling overwrought with it all? Do despair or distraught resonate with any of your emotions and limitations? Whether they be perceived, generated from outside situations, or physical in nature, limitations of what we can and cannot do or control exist. How do we function to connect in tandem, yet respect the boundaries of social distancing in place?

Exploring elements of seeking to keep mindful of how our Brain, Body, Heart, and Soul can stay in synch with self and others is vital…But HOW? Positivity must prevail. With all of the information flowing and swirling and even overtaking…HOW is this possible?

Perhaps …we all consider adding a few endeavors to refresh and replenish ourselves and those around us…

Finally…maybe just choose an extra one or two of the above mentioned and GO FOR IT! As you ponder the people, possessions, and practicalities present in our situation…find your peace and seek to position yourself as well as you can.

How will you choose to wait?
Or will you opt to speculate?

Can you find calm within the chaos of the space around you?
Allowing heart and soul to mindfully and reflectively renew?

Find a fresh new way to exercise being flexible
You will find new strength to choose adaptable

Let us all stay engaged and maintain our connection
Choosing to embrace others as we seek protection!

Embedded within our opportunity at this fragile time, we are all challenged to rise up within our respective communities and beyond!

REMEMBER…we WILL get through this TOGETHER!!!

The post Staying Connected Within the Realm of LIFE as it is NOW!! appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

First day of SPRING

Thu, 19 Mar 2020 14:37:00 GMT

Happy BEAUTIFUL FIRST Day of SPRING 2020!!

As the opportunity for a fresh new beginning is here
In your heart take a breath and offer a joyful cheer

Refresh and be mindful to optimize
Refrain from only a wish… Prioritize !

FIND YOU
BE TRUE
RENEW
WOO HOO!

The post First day of SPRING appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Confirming the Meaning of the Message

Mon, 09 Mar 2020 13:52:00 GMT

When seeking thorough and lasting communication we will strive to acknowledge self and others while displaying kindness. This is easy to write, shows up in conversation at times, but living it out…a completely different task for sure!

It has often been stated, “Hindsight is 20/20”. With the calendar year we are currently in, so many are reflecting forward with hope and looking for clearer “vision” throughout this year, 2020. A new decade, fresh beginnings filled with a new lens to view life and situations through.

As we wrap up this communication series on Active Listening by prioritizing and giving attention to our Focus, Acknowledgement, & Asking Questions …the word CONFIRM rises up. Paraphrasing a message being shared using the following…

”What I hear you saying is…”

“Let me see if I understand you…”

“Please correct me if I am wrong…”

…may indeed be helpful…However, this is very different than “ parroting” or “ repeating”.

Why might parroting a person not be the greatest idea?? To begin with, in the realm of conversation, one may feel like laziness is being conveyed or perhaps that just using the same words back, takes little to no effort. Parroting has a tendency to come across as being condescending or sarcastic.

On the other hand, how is paraphrasing beneficial? For the listener, it offers opportunity to connect with the speaker and ensure accuracy for what is being conveyed…for the speaker, there is opportunity to feel heard and may give a different perspective of understanding themselves and how they are communicating (or not)…

Reflecting on those all too familiar moments when one feels desperate to feel known and understood… My husband Brian and I were recalling a situation he encountered early in his pre-career. As you may or may not know, he has an extensive background in the realm of mental health. A therapist who desires to counsel others, he has numerous stories of attempts, successes, and as we all experience, some tough situations that may be viewed as “failures in waiting”. The process of communication can easily be tangled.

Brian’s up close, very real and personal experience as a practicum student … I can still remember my professor teaching us how to paraphrase well and distinctly reminding us NOT to parrot in the realm of counseling and especially when the emotional stakes are fragile, tender, and intense…After this concept was reviewed early in the week…I had a Thursday late evening session with a specific couple I was working with regularly. Along with other issues at hand, they displayed verbal hostility toward each other…

So there we were, in session… shortly after being taught to NOT parrot others. I was tired, young in my career, desiring to get it all right and…in the middle of the raging, one partner screamed intensely… “I AM SO ANGRY”!

Internally, I was struggling, feeling hopeless for their relationship, unsure about my skills, and I looked up, made eye contact, and promptly said, “You are really ANGRY aren’t you?”. At this moment, with flames shooting out of her eyes she intensely YELLED at me… “YES I AM AND STOP REPEATING ME”.

YIKES!! Note to self: don’t ever parrot another person as long as you live and my professor was RIGHT on!! Listen and implement BRIAN!!

SO…What was needful in that moment?…Perhaps something like this…”You are really fearful aren’t you? Fearful that this relationship will not last. Devastated that you are going to be embarrassed in front of your friends and family when this blows up and out. Fearful about the financial ramifications as you have strapped yourself so tightly in? Desiring deeply to be loved and valued? Words such as these were needful, and may have been a much better attempt in paraphrasing to capture the essence the issues and confirm the message in the moment of PAIN at hand. This would not have only tested my understanding of this client, but perhaps offered her an avenue to understand herself and emotions more fully.

Situations call for messages of confirmation whether intensely happy, connective, disappointing, or deeply sad. Viewing mindfully and empathetically matters.

A question coming to mind is…how will you cultivate yourself as you lean into authentic listening, hearing, and confirming those around you? Feel free to join in the conversation!

Acknowledging and Asking will achieve Confirmation
Collecting all thoughts may bring unity in summation

All of these together provide adequate direction to pursue
Drawing together hearts souls minds and a refreshed view!

The post Confirming the Meaning of the Message appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Acknowledge and Ask

Wed, 26 Feb 2020 16:21:00 GMT

To acknowledge and ask
Is really quite a deep task

When this happens with sincere authenticity
Relational experiences will find proficiency

Collecting your thoughts to be sincere
Even if the journey seems very unclear

Seek to find an aligning and calming realm
Distance away from a potential overwhelm

Mindfully invest in whatever the experience
Offering self and others settled reassurance

As the next portion of pondering an authentic and proficient communication connection moves forward, how are YOU doing with this ? Have you taken small moments to ponder the potential of deep and rich engagement? The rigor of communication becomes a mindful and purpose-filled part of your being… An investment of building these skills holds the potential to foster strong relationships in a variety of venues.

ACKNOWLEDGEment will be the next priority in our journey of communication. While striving to acknowledge other parties can be both verbal and non-verbal, some of our finest moments of acknowledging someone may be best received in a quieter or softer form.

Ensuring the other person knows you are engaged in what they are saying to you can be accomplished in a variety of manners. Sometimes seeking to match their mood or presence like smiling if they are, or displaying sincere concern if the matter at hand is troubling, expresses respect and appreciation. Additionally, expressing a puzzled demeanor if you are involved in a conversation and lack understanding displays honesty and engagement. At times a simple nod with eye contact and open body language may be most productive.

Staying engaged is the key here…remembering to stay focused and committed to the task at hand is of utmost importance. Internally choosing to slow down and be mindful of the internal process inside yourself and the other party matters.

Some phrases that may be helpful in the moment could be…

“Ok…got it…”

“I hear what you are saying…”

“Makes sense to me…”

“Oh my…”

“Really???”

“Really!!”

“hmmmmm….I think I get it…”

ASKing questions is a vital piece of this process and can be enlightening to the listener. An effort to connect and clarify what is being heard or communicated from another is helpful. This requires more active involvement in the story or dialogue versus just simple statements of acknowledgement. Engaging into the actual perception and experience of the speaker offers freedom and the potential for a meaningful connection and perhaps attaining a solution.

Phrases that may be contribute well might sound like…

“Tell me more…”

“What do you mean by…?”

“Can you give me an example…??”

“Do I understand this correctly…?”

“Please help me better understand…”

Participating in this manner allows another to see that you are indeed engaged within the process and listening actively with a spirit of helpfulness, concern, and caring.

One important thing to remember here…ask questions to GAIN information, not to make a point!! Too many people disguise a point or rebuttal…in the form of a question. THIS is UNFAIR communication and often derails or shuts down the hope of helping. Making a point ends the thought with a period or exclamation point…in a finalizing…this is my take… manner. Asking a question should be done exhibiting an open heart and open hand mindset with a comfortable and spacious pause, inviting more thoughts…

Suggesting quality communication within the realm of acknowledgement and inquiry has benefits. Increased empathy has the potential to abound. Deepening of relationships by adding elements of true care and concern grow those around you but benefit and increase the depth of one’s own inner self and leads you mindfully on in navigating this journey we call life…go for it!

A cknowledge

S howing

K indness

And …as always…feel free to add in and respond on the BLOG with your own thoughts and experiences…We truly do grow and learn from collaborative conversations of all types!

The post Acknowledge and Ask appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Focus of the Heart

Tue, 11 Feb 2020 17:43:00 GMT

With a plethora of communication options so close to our finger tips in the world around us…sometimes the most beautiful opportunities may be at risk for being missed. Do you seek to focus toward the HEART aspect of communicating? What does this look like for acquaintances, friends, loved ones, and significant others? There will be a variance in how this plays out in different scenarios…With Valentines Day upon us…Let’s turn our communication FOCUS toward the HEART of the matter…

What does prioritizing a HEART look like when connecting with someone? How is eye contact involved in this? Views toward eye contact or a lack thereof are personal and may be cultural. Are we conveying disinterest, dishonesty, or a lack of connection when we don’t use eye contact? Depending on timing, atmosphere, situation, and the people involved, in general, having a goal of maintaining eye contact when communicating matters. This does not mean a stare or glare. A healthy sense of visual connection has the potential to increase positivity within communication.

Limiting or compartmentalizing distractions whether we have planned for them or not is of benefit. There have been many studies done on this area and one of them shows there is an external distraction to a conversation every 17 seconds. While at times this may help diffuse a scene, the constant barrage of information whether it be technology updates, verbal interruptions, or the weather outside, can get in the way and negatively impact not only the communication at the moment, but the long term healthy habit of communicating well.

Some distractions are internal and relate to the way we are wired. There is another study showing we only recall about 25% of what we hear. With processing speeds differing from person to person…how can we work to listen well and with HEART ? While our brains can hear, understand, and define 125-250 words per minute, it literally thinks 1,000-3,000 words per minute…what role does this play in communication distractions that lead quickly into misunderstandings and misconnections?

How will you work to set aside these inevitable distractions?

Bottom line… How can we SLOW or CALM the process down…Is it possible to regroup and refocus issues that arise both externally and internally to ensure we are being good active listeners? Whether we are the fast or slow processer or somewhere in between…it remains our individual responsibility to slow or calm a situation down, perhaps mindfully take a breath, and make sure we understand the other person, as we seek to ensure their understanding of us as well.

Unfortunately, possibly more often than not, we may not be invested in a conversation to truly listen. Perhaps we tend to be more focused on a response to the interaction. Our mind may already be formulating why the other person is wrong…inwardly claiming or feeling to KNOW what their intent or motivation may be. On the other hand…saying what we think the other person wants to hear is not proactive or helpful in pursuing a strong communication connection either.

My husband and I find ourselves using analogies from real life to help us learn and gain from. I am fully aware and understand how to drive a car. The safety measures needed, as well as the skills to start it, follow road signs, and traffic signals are all second nature. No matter how practiced I am at driving, as I pull onto a certain roadway, I have no way of knowing precisely what will be coming my way or what circumstance to expect at any given time. There are numerous factors for which a driver will have no control over; other drivers, weather, traffic, etc. My skills in driving matter to navigate both the expected and unexpected, and I must have them properly in order to have the best outcomes. This is also true in the realm of communication. We won’t always know or be readily aware of the story, background, or defining aspects of those we are communicating with. However, if we enter scenarios equipped and prepared with a HEART ful approach, we have a better chance of experiencing the best outcome possible!

Let’s be proactive…rather than reactive. Stick with your beliefs, but be flexible. TRYING matters and EFFORT counts…The “we” piece of the communication endeavor adds benefit which may pay dividends forever. Exceed what your “personality” limits you to and extend with empathy and relatability!

Listening with open ears helps to show
How to help someone else find their glow

Have you noticed the center of the word HEART is EAR ?
When you listen with your HEART you will readily HEAR …

What is truly at the center of your loved ones HEART
Make this happen…Love and Listen well…don’t depart

Happiest of HEART days to all…

The post Focus of the Heart appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Active Listening

Tue, 28 Jan 2020 19:44:00 GMT

Listening with intention
Focusing your attention

Will communicate your priority
Offering enlightening clarity

Interesting to ponder the word SILENT
Being this quiet may cause discontent

Letters are the same as those in LISTEN…
Doing both may be a productive ambition

Will you thoughtfully work to listen?
Perhaps lead another soul to glisten?

How important is it to listen? Do you view listening as a valuable part of communication? Is listening important in relationships? Perhaps the better question is… Why is listening such an important part of communication and relationships? Can we really communicate and connect effectively without hearing from another? Is it possible to have a healthy relationship without hearing from all angles and both sides, whether it is a casual, personal, or professional relationship?

Various philosophers and others have been known to write or proclaim ideas such as …

The first act of love or respect is to listen.

When hurting people feel heard or listened to, they begin to heal.

Are you listening to the answers your environment may be giving you?

If you’re not listening, you’re not loving.

Listening to respond might not be listening to hear.

By listening well you learn amazing stories.

My husband Brian, heard a philosopher through a university symposium be asked to answer as to what he would do if given one hour to win someone over to his philosophy of life and to share how he would spend that hour. Without hesitation and no pondering his reply was, “ I would ask them questions about what they believe and listen to their answers for the first 50 minutes, and then spend the last 10 minutes sharing with them what I believe. ” This is so interesting as most of us, if being completely honest, would incline to do just the opposite… Or perhaps we would use the entire 60 minutes prioritizing our personal convictions and philosophy being driven by an effort to be right, and assume they are wrong.

Additionally, Brian attributes another philosopher in his life, her name…Grandma Borah. I had the gift and pleasure of knowing and interacting with this beautiful woman for two decades. While she only possessed an 8th or 9th grade education…her wisdom for life skills, loving others, and listening well far exceeded any measure on the afore mentioned. She was known in the family for saying ”You have two ears and one mouth for a reason…listen twice as much as you talk”. She had limited school education…yet was a very wise woman.

Active listening includes behaviors to help engage in the communication process by:

Quietly listening with intention

Asking as needed for clarification

Confirm understanding with affirmation

The most important part of active listening is that YOU the LISTENER understand the SPEAKER…This does not to imply that debating, arguing, disagreeing, persuading be at the forefront for the listener. Seeking to truly and fully understand should lead the way, whether agreement or disagreement is present. When we approach listening as a QUIET yet ACTIVE endeavor, clarifying points along the way as needed, and then affirming for understanding…we will find ourselves well on the way to more solid and productive communication.

Life offers us so many challenges and we seldom find quick fixes for most scenarios and situations…however, if we seek to add components of healthy communication, we have a better chance of growing forward productively!

Are you willing to Actively Listen by being sure to FOCUS, ACKNOWLEDGE, ASK and CONFIRM along the way?

This is the continuation of a HUGE topic but one of paramount importance throughout all walks of life. Let’s continue the conversation and embrace opportunities to COMMUNICATE and ACTIVELY LISTEN with CLARITY as we Connect, Collaborate, and Conquer a little more every day!

How will you aspire to RE-ADJUST your personal listening habits as you grow forward?

The post Active Listening appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

What does it mean to communicate?

Thu, 16 Jan 2020 17:05:00 GMT

What does it mean to communicate? Is it more than just speaking? How so?

When we look at reading through the context of education, a concept often talked about is… Reading a book is not literacy, understanding it is. Given this frame of reference and then shifting to look through the lens of communicating, I wonder how we could change this statement if we risk to ponder…

Simply sharing words is not communication with someone… then what is ???????

Oftentimes we enter situations hopeful of communicating clearly and on some levels we even realize this needs to be done cooperatively…but how are we REALLY communicating and is it causing positive and uplifting connections with those around us?

While there is no precise method that will work with 100% accuracy, there may be some validity to breaking a few words down and simplifying our presence when seeking to communicate, be heard, and understood.

Connect – how you work on YOU to make this happen matters! Some studies say that your spoken word only accounts for 7% of communication…93% is non-verbal. If you want to break down the 93%… 38% of this is tone and volume, 55% is body language. There are numerous studies to google and learn on this topic, but the point here is that connections abound non-verbally! How can you positively position yourself, demeanor, and posture to connect with those around you? If it is a loved one, perhaps a gentle touch. If it is a defensive encounter, maybe a soft step or a scoot to the side with hands open, (indicating an attempt at an openness of heart and mind).

Collaborate – this involves risk! Are you willing to navigate yourself out of your comfort zone, compartmentalize your ideal way for a moment, and allow for all thoughts and ideas to be shared or expressed? We grow through collaboration. How can you listen more, lean into the perception of others, and learn through the process? Consider all perspectives!

Conquer – it is possible! Finding small victories in a variety of situations and venues will begin to happen. Perhaps you take an extra mindful breath (not a sigh;)…pull yourself together, join in the effort at hand, and impact change while communicating well!

Prioritize toward what you CAN accomplish
When energy and focus is not what you wish

Centering to develop more of your own inner gift
May enable you to inspire another’s needful shift

Find in all things the awaited beautiful
Your heart and mind will feel bountiful

What will you do to understand?
Will you willingly seek to expand?

Adapt your understanding and find more zeal
Try to lead others toward finding a fresh ideal

Regardless of your current view or perception
Be open to explore and discover new direction

Empower yourself and share with all those around
Enable hope and happy so greater good will abound!

This is just the beginning of a HUGE topic but one of paramount importance throughout all walks of life. Let’s continue the conversation and embrace opportunities to COMMUNICATE with CLARITY as we Connect, Collaborate, and Conquer a little more every day!

Simply sharing words is not communication with someone…what do YOU say it is?

The post What does it mean to communicate? appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

New Years

Mon, 30 Dec 2019 15:13:00 GMT

As the calendar pages turn and we find ourselves in the midst of 2020 happening…a challenge looms to re-set, retrain, or redefine thoughts, goals, dreams, and aspirations…

One simple question to ponder
As into the new year you wander…

How will you grow forward, embrace change, and seek to influence your “world”?

Go make a difference in your world!

All around the world we see
People just like you and me

Never truly grasping and we may not really know
How deep they choose to hold, share, hide, or show

Be who you are and as you lead or follow and function
Do so with strength, focus, and purposeful interaction

While you task and learn and grow with a variety of teams
Your insight inspires others to reach and find their dreams

As you move forward to share and prioritize
Find the next journey to influence and visualize

Always traveling onward and through many intersections
Growing all the time as you are pulled in various directions

Forever aspire to be present in the moment day by day by day
Go make a difference in your world in a noble refreshing way!

As always…feel free to add in and mindfully share your thoughts, hopes, and dreams…

The post New Years appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Priceless Gifts

Wed, 11 Dec 2019 17:36:00 GMT

Thinking through the lens of PRICELESS GIFTS is an undertaking I hope you will enjoy! Throughout my decades in the classroom, this activity became my most beloved Class Discussion and Writing Workshop lesson around the holidays for learners of all ages…J Ever hopeful that students would carry this idea home and lead their family in its implementation.

Routinely, my classrooms permeated with joy and hope as students and teachers were found proclaiming their BEST PRICELESS GIFTS . All were encouraged to search a little deeper and reach a little farther to improve self and the way the needs of people in the world around them are viewed…Embedded in this simple project or thought process is a challenge to raise awareness and knowledge of self and others.

Many aspects, approaches, and elements of kind heartedness, generosity of spirit, and pouring positivity into others exists…Lessons such as this PRICELESS GIFTS learning activity offers times of exploration and discovery about self, others, and inspire each amazing lifelong learner to reach their full potential!

My son…(now well into his 20’s) from a very young age LOVED a fresh warm blanket…Oftentimes in the late fall winter and early spring seasons…while he was in the bath tub readying for story and bed time…either his Dad or I would run down the basement to the laundry room and place his blanket/comforter in the dryer…and when he would snuggle in shortly thereafter, the fresh warm feeling of cozy would engulf him and lift his spirit immediately…Our favorite Priceless Gift memory of loving on him!

From baking cookies as a family to reading a story together, scenarios bubble up as individuals are invited to share about warm blankets, reading, eating, planning or sharing meals after cooking or preparing the experience together. Elements of thankfulness and respect for relationships permeate this endeavor.

Let us consider ourselves as encouraged and invited to engage deep into knowing and appreciating ourselves as well as those around us. Wouldn’t it be fun to get creative as we LOVE forward, invest in those around us, and throughout the process, discover deep and lasting connections to promote a relationally successful future?!

Enjoy many happy moments and together experiences over this well-deserved time of holiday cheer and please remember…YOU are an individual filled with amazing gifts bubbling over with wonder!

Be YOU

And TRUE

Love WELL

And TELL

Dig DEEP

And REAP

A full HEART

And don’t DEPART

Choose to share YOURSELF as a priceless gift

Watch your life take a mindful purposeful shift!

To make this tangible…

Simply fold wrapping paper over writing paper, staple at the top, place your favorite bow wherever it is desired and the writing and illustration about the gift is simply ready to share!

These make precious holiday gifts when personalized…For example…

Grandpa, my favorite priceless gift with you is when we work in the garden together.

Mom, I love to decorate cookies with you, it is my best priceless gift with you.

Our family loves to read together, it is one of the treasured priceless gifts we share.

When we search for driftwood and shells on the sandy beach, my heart is so happy with you, it feels priceless.

Looking forward to hearing from you regarding Priceless Gift exchanges… Enjoy the following pictures of finished PRICELESS GIFT projects in the final class with a group of Language Arts and Literacy pre-service teachers…What a way to end the semester!!

And Ally…found the teacher who influenced her the most to practice the gift of sharing a PRICELSS GIFT writing reflection! Yay!

The post Priceless Gifts appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Gratitude

Fri, 29 Nov 2019 06:19:00 GMT

As Thanksgiving comes and goes, and we quickly speed toward Hanukkah, St. Nicholas Day, Christmas, Kwanza, countless holiday parties, events, programs…and then the New Year…don’t allow your heartfelt gratitude of the season to pass.

The continuum of Professional Development remains inspiring…

Oftentimes my husband and I travel together for work events as our professional fields coincide and connect on so many levels…he being from the viewpoint of psychology, mine from the perspective of education…both of us questing to be lifelong learners…

Recently, we attended an event where Shawn Achor unfolded and shared something we’ve been familiar with for quite a while…And decided it was a wonderful time to reimplement his system into our lives this season…

Let’s carry forward the ATTITUDE of GRATITUDE as it comes a little bit easier around the week of Thanksgiving…It is so quick to escape when we get into the thick of the Winter Holiday “blahs”…or perhaps “a Ha’s”…!

Following is a Gratitude Challenge for the next 21 days:

1. Write down three things you are grateful for…no repeats for 21 days.

This may seem impossible to do…21 x 3 = 63…63 things I am grateful for…How in the world can I come up with so many things one may ask…

When making a gratitude list we often aim BIG… instead we should aim SMALL.

What does this mean??

I can be thankful for my HOUSE (BIG), or I can aim SMALL and be thankful for: the location of our house, our neighbors, the memories of our home (be more specific about the memories/events/special times), the colors our walls are painted (especially the gold color in our bedroom), the patio, how the kitchen/bathrooms have been remodeled, LOVE the shed we have, etc…

Rather than being thankful for your loved ones or children (BIG), list out all the reasons you love your kids or loved ones specifically and individually (SMALL)…How they fall asleep, wake up, personality traits that help with family dynamics, efficiency with homework or chores, flexibility, critical thinker, etc…

2. Find a positive event from the day and journal about it for a minimum of 2 minutes.

Write about what happened, where you were at, who was there… Reflect upon…How did you feel when and after the positive event happened…? Did it change the way you felt the rest of the day…how did it alter the way you interacted with others??? For example…Today was a beautiful sunny day, while out on a walk with my spouse, we came upon a toddler with his Grandfather…seeing the two of them quiet but connected added such positivity to the moment! Have a fun time with journaling and extending small moments… write your take on the story…if you want to push it to the NEXT LEVEL, share your experience with someone else in your life…

3. Offer a Random Act of Kindness

Now…this can be helping the elderly person put their groceries in the car…or you can share positive elements you notice with others… but how?? Well you can write a note/letter to someone with an actual pen and paper and send it in the mail…yes, use a stamp on the envelope. You can send an email, text, snapchat…tell the other person why they are important in your life, what it is that you love/admire about them…ENCOURAGE THEM!!!! Give the positivity away to others…who knows how they may impact someone else in their life… and so on and so on…your encouragement matters!

Will you consider taking this challenge on for yourself as an individual…? Or participate in it with your significant other, in your workplace…implement it with your family as you see fit!

What we do today…will lead the way
Tomorrow will be here come what may

Continue to expand, grow, and explore
Looking to serve others more and more

When you choose to display gratitude
You will enjoy benefits to your attitude

Remember to be mindful in the moment day by day
As you seek to impact your world in a beautiful way!

Looking forward to hearing from you…Be sure to join in on the conversation!

Join the discussion on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/lovinglifelonglearning/

The post Gratitude appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

3 H’s When Grieving

Fri, 22 Nov 2019 20:00:00 GMT

Approaching the HOLIDAYS…Is it Fa LA LA LA LA? or OH NO here we go!?

Will this ache ever end?

Please leave never ending pain
Every moment it begins again

The fog that covers my brow is thick
Could I just escape from this…quick?

Barely able to find a way to process and cope
Striving for elements of fresh peace and hope

The only chance for rescue or salvation???
Feels to be direct and honest conversation…

Oftentimes throughout the years of working with students and families…an inevitable/unexpected death (person or pet), a diagnosis, a declining loved one, a car accident, a divorce, a life change impacting a home and heart…many other scenarios where grief gripped, sorrow surrounded, and hard times happened…People matter, hearts are a priority, but what is one to do when permeated by an unmovable moment of sadness? How do we move from here to there when surrounded by GRIEF…unwelcome, unplanned, very confusing distress…grief.

Background knowledge and experience matters. For better or worse, they offer a basis to work from…While an attitude of gratitude is a noble purpose, it is just not realistic in so many scenarios… given the upcoming holiday season…I propose we take an opportunity to learn and explore more…about how to navigate the unexpected moments and scenarios of grief in life, be they massive or seemingly small.

In all honesty, there are components of grief that are uneasy to navigate. Are you willing to keep trying? Let’s grow forward desirous of a solution to apply toward many possible issues at hand.

Whether you feel incredibly heavy, helpless, or lack hope… perhaps unequipped or underprepared to be a part of impacting a needed solution…give the following a try…

How might you apply the framework of the 3 H’s to your life?
Offer your insight it may help someone else work through strife…

Be sure to post and share your thoughts…

3 H’s When Grief is Present: Honesty Hope and HOLD on…

Honestly address

Hope

Hold …onto memories of what you embraced…

Join the discussion on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/lovinglifelonglearning/

The post 3 H’s When Grieving appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Inquire & Inspire!

Wed, 13 Nov 2019 21:42:00 GMT

INQUIRE & INSPIRE!

EDUCATE & COLLABORATE!

UNITE & IGNITE!

ADORE & EXPLORE!

INFORM & TRANSFORM!

AFFIRM & CONFIRM!

AMBIGUITY & INTEGRITY!

All of these word pairs help to describe my recent Professional Development endeavors…

Which set of words motivates you to immerse yourself into LOVING LifeLong LEARNING ?!

Be sure and add to the conversation!

In Louisville…at the ISACS Annual Conference 2019… New Ways of Doing School …

Passionate educators from STL Miriam School Mary Bless, Media Services; Megan Gibson, Director of Admissions; Mary Cognata, Head of School; and I enjoyed a lunch & learn as we united our minds and hearts over past, present, and future students!

While serving on an ISACS Accreditation Team in “snowy” Detroit…a compassionate counselor, Jessica Yauch, MA, LLPC, SCL for Notre Dame Preparatory and Marist Academy shares her vision for a wall of encouragement…recently students contributed to an Empathy Tree sharing their heart to help others even when they may not understand.

The snow covered tree sits at the midpoint of the campus reminding all to bloom and grow in grace , peace , and… empathy .

The post Inquire & Inspire! appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Connection, Collaboration, and Conversation

Wed, 06 Nov 2019 15:59:00 GMT

We grow through connection, collaboration, and conversation.

Do you believe this is true?

If so…How is this experienced in your daily life?

Recently, I posted on Facebook…

Often I have stated and truly believe
Listen to others and you will receive

Are you a listener? As I pondered this more and more
I realized there are multiple facets we should explore

Hearing Listening Understanding
3 unique ways of self-extending

To hear listen and understand
How will you seek to expand!?

So many times we nod like we know
Without responding we often lie low

Three different methods to promote connection
How do you use them to guide life’s direction?

Join the discussion on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/lovinglifelonglearning/

The post Connection, Collaboration, and Conversation appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Mindfulness

Mon, 28 Oct 2019 15:50:00 GMT

I had a great time last Wednesday night attending and reading my poem aloud with two friends at the Local Poetry Night at the St. Louis County Library. Check out my poem below! This poems topic: Mindfulness.

Being mindful and in the moment is where I want to be
Finding presence for each instance even when I cannot see

Exuding grace and calm through every situation
Even when change or fear may cloud my perception

Keeping positive presence when the way may not be clear
Staying grounded and reflective even when there is a tear

Knowing myself both heart and mind
Aware of others with positivity to find

Reminds me to reflect on my inner warrior to inspire
Centering for authenticity remains a deep desire

Mediation and resilience will help to conceptualize
Renewed awareness and clarity I will come to realize

Quietly and passionately reflecting without abandon
Seeking balance for this leader to deepen and strengthen

Thoughtfully viewing every angle and alternative
Finding the best balance surrounding each perspective

Ongoing enlightenment and centering will guide and lead the way
Holding power to experience growth through mindfulness day by day

How are you mindful? Do you want to be mindful in the moment? Join the discussion on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/lovinglifelonglearning/

The post Mindfulness appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .

Get To Know Kathleen

Wed, 11 Sep 2019 14:57:00 GMT

Developing the whole person remains a focus and passion in Kathleen’s teaching endeavors regardless of the age or stage pre-kindergarten through adulthood. Finding purpose for each endeavor by applying prior and current knowledge to the circumstance at hand is a goal. Applying consistency and calm in a timely manner to enhance the social, emotional, and academic needs of each student is at the forefront of every situation and task. Learners are acutely aware of what they feel is impossible for them and where they perceive their own knowledge as lacking. Kathleen believe students and learners of all ages thrive when validated, valued, accepted, known and loved. Everyone is able to learn and grow and develop. Classroom endeavors take shape under the leadership of the educator. Teachers who desire to impact will be empowered and equipped to do so if

Educators are in a position to address circumstances with strength and honesty as an advocate for the learners under their care. Change is inevitable and all around us, Mr. Rogers shares a unique perspective when we view students through the lens of current culture. He discusses how the outside world around us has definitely changed and continues to do so, yet the insides of people have not changed. The innate needs of individuals remain essential, to be known, valued, and loved. Mr. Rogers (2018) has also spoken toward what is essential in life, claiming oftentimes it is not visible to the eye.

Journeying forward, let’s connect, wait, and see!

What moments of life have recently inspired you?
Have any of them caused you to reset or renew?

The post Get To Know Kathleen appeared first on Loving Lifelong Learning .